Head Full of Wine
Novice Medaea sur Yvaine, Written by Taryn
Posted on Fri, Jul 30, 2010 12:24 pm
Her lids dragged heavily and a blink took seconds. A month of working with different Accepted, Aes Sedai and even the occasional Asha’man every day in addition to her chores and lessons were taking its toll. Circles shadowed her eyes after getting little more than two hours of sleep before an Aes Sedai entered her room and woke her. A month of trying every trick that they knew and Medaea still was no closer to breaking through her block, though it was not for lack of effort on the White Tower’s or her part. She’d been pinched, prodded, frightened, swatted, calmed, soothed and dozens of different things.
For the past half week they—any of three different Aes Sedai—had been waking her in the middle of the night and dragging her into various rooms and plying her with food until she was stuffed or having open and casual conversation about the Aes Sedai’s life (this had opened her eyes wide to hear some of the things the Sister had done while in Whites), and sometimes they would just sit and make her relax, which often resulted in being jolted awake by the slapping of a slipper to the ground.
Today it was mealtime and she was in the private quarters of a Blue Sister that had participated in on her block breaking sessions regularly. Nedani Sedai was a tall and beautiful Domani woman, slender with the willowy build that seemed typical to their people. She poured a glass of wine for Medaea, and the Mayener looked up to the Aes Sedai in surprise. “Wine, Aes Sedai? Am I allowed that as a Novice?”
The Sister’s smile was restrained yet amused. “Your problem is that you like to be in control, Medaea. Your block only dissipates when you want to control someone. Surrendering control in order to channel saidar doesn’t come naturally to you. Your control is tight and well maintained so we’re going to try and drop that control you have over yourself with an entirely different tactic.”
Medaea’s eyes went to the wineglass and she couldn’t stop them from widening. “You’re going to get me drunk.”
“Ourel was right—you have a quick mind. And you apply it diligently I hear, not a wasted moment, not a Novice that lets herself become distracted by anything else.” Nedani Sedai’s smile slipped slightly and in its place was an expression Medaea recognized. The predatory look of someone wanting something. “You are still young to the Tower at only five months, but the Blue Ajah may find your ambition and intelligence a keen asset to our Ajah. For now, drink.”
It was a heady and full-bodied Tairen Red that warmed her as it slipped down to her stomach. In Mayene she had consumed wine at meals, but in the White Tower their drinks were watered and more often punch than wine. She never cared for reds unless it was with a meal—they were too dry and it made her mouth get a film over it. But the Blue Sister was going to try and loosen her control with drink and she’d promised to go through whatever methods they attempted with her, so she drank the wine. And she drank, and then drank some more. All the while the Domani Aes Sedai told amusing stories of her life as a merchant’s daughter and her foibles before coming to the Tower as a Novice.
At first the stories didn’t seem so amusing, they got some mild laughter, but as each cup was consumed during their conversation, Medaea found each one getting funnier. “…And I told her ‘But I thought you were a man!’”
Medaea’s laughter was loud and nearly cackling as she just barely kept herself from rolling out of the chair. When did the floor get so wobbly? She was so. Bloody. Tired. Why in the Light was this woman keeping her up? Oh, good more wine, she was still thirsty after all. Taking a big gulp of the liquid, it barely burned as it went down her throat, but the pleasant floating sensation of her arms reminded her very much of the lessons that Accepted Sorcha took them through to try and channel. “So…” She squinted slightly as the image of the Aes Sedai went out of focus. “Sooo, do you get every Novice drunk just so we—so we have, ah blood and ashes, I forgot what I was flaming going to say.”
The Blue Sister smiled, or at least Medaea thought the woman was smiling but was that a smirk? Nah, Aes Sedai didn’t smirk, not at Novices or anyone else. They were so bloody cool and collected. And that was so impressive! The fact that they were in control of their emotions each and every second fascinated her and she wanted to be like that without being bloody called down for being an ice cold wench. Wretched man! Who did he think he was? She’d show him! When he was old and gray and dying, she’d come and see him with her ageless face and not a single gray in her hair and show him! Huh, the Aes Sedai was speaking and then all the sudden—“Hey! I was still drinking that!”
“I think that you’ve finally had enough, Novice Medaea. Now I’m sure that it will be difficult for you to concentrate, but let’s try to get you to embrace saidar. Picture the rosebud in your mind…” Nedani Sedai’s voice was a soft drone in the buzzing of her ears and she closed her eyes.
“Novice Medaea, wake up!”
Her eyes flew open and she felt the thrill of fear course through her veins even as her head began spinning. Nedani Sedai’s face was a thundercloud but she couldn’t help but start laughing at the stern expression on the woman’s face. “I’m so sorry…so sorry Aes Sedai. I’m just so tired and then the wine it’s just making me more tired. And you had me close my eyes.” The woman’s lips pressed together and even through the haze of the wine, Medaea knew the Sister was not pleased. Light, she didn’t snore did she? She hoped not, how embarrassing. “All right, I’ll try again, no sleeping, promise.”
She closed her eyes and tried to envision the rosebud, but it was hard. It kept spinning out of her mind’s eye along with her body feeling like it was going to spin right to the floor. Who thought this was a good idea? She didn’t. And why was her mouth so bloody dry and covered in film? Oh, yes the wine. The rosebud! Frantically bringing her focus back to the rosebud, Medaea envisioned it, went through the exercises that worked when there was someone nearby that she wanted to manipulate but when she opened herself, the light simply wasn’t there. It was as if she couldn’t channel at all. A trickle of a tear rolled down her cheek as violet blue eyes opened to look at the Aes Sedai. “It didn’t work. I can’t sense it no matter how I try.”
The Blue Sister gave a very soft sigh and nodded once, drawing Medaea up with a supporting arm. “I had hoped, it seemed so certain that this would be the one to break your block. Let’s get you into your bed and I’ll cancel your morning classes tomorrow.”
Medaea wrenched herself away from the Aes Sedai. “No! No, Aes Sedai! No special treatment—I’ll be up to do my chores with everyone else.” In a moment the fog of wine was cleared from her mind and she stood her ground to the Blue Sister with an adamant expression on her face, jaw clenched and eyes flashing defiance.
“Novice Medaea, we’ve been watching you run yourself ragged this past month. Not a single woman in the Tower is going to think any less of you for taking a couple extra hours to finally rest and sleep off what we just put you through.” The stern expression on Nedani’s face had been replaced with compassion and her eyes were on level with Medaea’s to look into them with earnest honesty.
“I know, Aes Sedai. But I asked for this and I want to break my block but I can’t do that if I let myself take even a small break.” Medaea shook her head. “Not everything earned and achieved comes easy—most times it comes with weariness, effort and some pain. Thank you for the offer of cancelling my chores and classes, Aes Sedai, but I’ll rest when my block is broken.” At that moment the weight of the wine and her own fatigue caught up to her and she stumbled against the wall before catching herself. The Aes Sedai moved to help her but Medaea shook her head and forced her legs straight once more. She would give up when her block was broken or she collapsed into a deep sleep.
Nedani Sedai’s face was inscrutable as she met Medaea’s gaze, but Medaea could see the small glint of approval in the woman’s eyes, a respect that she had earned this night even with a head full of wine.
In reply to Aggressive Sessions[show]/[hide]
Medaea waited patiently outside the office of Candance Sedai, hands folded in her lap, back straight. The Novice who sat opposite her looked bored and swung her foot over the floor with a swish-swish that grated Medaea’s nerves. She could feel saidar there, the light over her shoulder that she recognized now and it would be such a simple matter to embrace and weave the flows necessary to make the girl stop.
But she couldn’t.
Sighing, Medaea instead took the direct route, “Would you please stop that, it’s annoying.” The Novice stared at her with an open mouth that then snapped shut as she glowered at Medaea. The girl couldn’t have been more than two or three years younger than herself, but the extra years on her face often kept their mouths shut when she spoke simply out of habit of obeying those older. It was useful though when she became Accepted the advantage would be gone and she’d have to utilize less convenient means.
The door opened and Candance Sedai stepped through, her gaze going directly to Medaea. Standing, she dipped into a curtsey immediately for the Aes Sedai. “Medaea, you may come in now.” Her feet moved quickly—when Aes Sedai spoke she was expected to obey with alacrity. It was relatively inconvenient to hop when they said “toad”, but she had decades to bide her time to judge by the Aes Sedai in the White Tower. What was a wait of ten years when one would live two centuries? “Please sit and explain why you requested to speak with me.” Her tone was mild but Medaea got the feeling the Aes Sedai was puzzled as to why a Novice would request to speak with the Mistress of Novices.
Lowering herself into the chair, Medaea replied, “Thank you for seeing me so quickly, Candance Sedai. I wished to speak to you about stepping up the sessions on breaking my block.” She paused for a response or reaction from the Mistress of Novices and received only smooth features and blank expression. “For any Novice I would think that working through channeling lessons is difficult but when one has a block, it’s near impossible to recreate the circumstances to even sense the True Source let alone channel. I already meet three times a week to discover a way around my block but I want to have this increased to once a day if there are Sisters or Accepted available to assist with this.”
There was a long stretch of silence and Candance Sedai leaned back in her chair, fingers interlacing in her lap as the ageless features seemed to weigh and measure her. “It will be exhausting work, Medaea, to follow such an aggressive schedule. And I won’t allow you to drop any of your classes or chores if you take on these extra sessions.”
Medaea nodded. “I understand, Candance Sedai and I wouldn’t expect you to allow that. The sessions I have seem to be so far in between that I want something more regular. I want—“ She took a deep breath. Never start a sentence with “I want”, it’s not constructive and it will not get you what you’re asking for. “I feel that it would be more constructive and successful if the sessions were closer together and more frequent. My chances in succeeding at breaking my block are greater this way.”
“Then it will be done, Novice. I would like to commend you on your dedication to breaking your block, a Novice who takes initiative while obeying Aes Sedai earn the positive notice of this office.” She spoke the words with a soft smile for Medaea. The Aes Sedai could be stern and command the respect of Novices, but Medaea had heard and seen a soft and caring side in the woman that spoke volumes for how much she cared for her charges. “Beginning tomorrow you should expect to have a more aggressive schedule and I’ll send someone to work with you on breaking your block.”
Medaea rose and dipped into another curtsey. “Thank you, Candance Sedai, I appreciate your time and consideration.” Walking from the room, Medaea knew she was about to be tired, cranky, and most likely wet and sore from whatever ministrations they would put her through.
“Novice Medaea, I’m here to work with you on your block.” She had just eaten two bites of her stew when the Accepted approached her, face blank but one that Medaea recognized from classes as a relatively stern Accepted.
Grabbing her chunk of bread and pressing some cheese into the center, she stood and dropped into a curtsey. “Of course, Accepted Leira. With your permission may I eat this on the way to where we’re going?”
The pretty Accepted glanced at her hand and then nodded. “So long as it’s gone by the time we get there.” Medaea began chewing on her food furiously as the short Accepted walked at a fast clip through the halls. As the last crumbs passed through her fingers, Accepted Leira glanced over at her. “I hear that you requested to have more sessions, why is that?”
“Did you have a block when you were a Novice, Accepted Leira? No, then you won’t know how frustrating it is to be limited in what you can learn and what you can practice. There have been lessons I’ve had to be dismissed from in the past four months simply because I couldn’t even sense the Source. You can’t even watch the flows be directed if you can’t sense it.” Medaea shook her head. “I’m tired of it. I want this block broken and if it means exhausting myself in every spare moment then so be it. I want to learn as quickly as I can and they’ll allow and right now I can’t do that.”
The Accepted cocked her head to Medaea. “That’s an interesting standpoint, Novice. Most come here and do as their told, when they’re told and trust Candance Sedai to set those sessions as she feels is well for the Novice. I suppose it’s your age that makes you more liable to question what you’re given than the other Novices much younger than yourself.”
Medaea laughed. “Accepted, I’ve been questioning what I’ve been told since I was twelve. My father taught me to strive to achieve success despite what limitations others might put upon me. If I fail it is only because I did not try hard enough and think of the correct method to succeed.”
Any response the Accepted might have made was cut off as she opened a door into a room that was roughly four paces by four paces. It held two chairs and an assortment of items that Medaea couldn’t possibly imagine how Accepted Leira might use them. “All right, we have two hours to try and work through your block. Let’s start with some basic ones—“ Medaea gasped as ice cold water poured over her and her body started shivering immediately from the cold shock. “Can you sense the Source?”
“No! But I can sense how cold it is in this room like this!” Medaea cried out, wringing water from her sleeves.
Accepted Leira shook her head. “Well that seemed like it would be a little too easy. But cold shock has worked in the past, so there’s no reason why it shouldn’t work now. Well, let’s leave you in some physical discomfort for now and see if there’s a combination of that and something else that may do the trick.”
Shivering against the chill of the air and a linen dress that now clung with wet abandon to her form, Medaea’s teeth chattered and she tried not to glare at the Accepted. She had asked for this, after all.
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Replies to Head Full of Wine
- The Thrill of Success — Novice Medaea sur Yvaine, Sat, Jul 31, 2010 09:40 am
