The Thrill of Success
Novice Medaea sur Yvaine, Written by Taryn
Posted on Sat, Jul 31, 2010 09:40 am
Nine weeks. Three full months of working with someone every day and not a single glimmer of success. She had been certain this aggressive schedule would have yielded success before now; it wasn’t the fault of herself or failing of the White Tower though. Some Novices would go years before the key their block was discovered—the human mind was the best protector and guarded her jealously. In three months she’d learned to live off of five hours of sleep, less food and any of her free time but it had taken its toll on her. Medaea’s hair had lost some of its luster, her skin was pale and a contrast to eyes that were sunken in and shadowed and lines that hadn’t been there before webbed her mouth and forehead. Three times Candance Sedai had pulled Medaea into her office to tell her that the regiment would be scaled back and each time she had allowed Medaea to convince her to keep it up. She would rest once her block was broken, not a moment less.
Nedani Sedai had taken her session again this time and had worked on methods that would cause her to be under complete relaxtion—a girl had massaged her back and limbs with surprising results, she had bathed in mineral baths and spent time having her hands and feet treated with scrubbing salts to make them glow and soft once more. Each time Medaea had felt as if she were back in her home in Mayene, but saidar was no closer to her than the moon.
The ironic part of it all was that she’d just spent time getting her hands soft and her next chore was to pull weeds in the sun gardens. Kneeling over the ground, pulling invasive plants was going to destroy all relaxing treatments she had just been through. Well, it’s not like you’re going to get special treatment just because you’re working yourself to the bone. “Watch your step girls, here comes Medaea. You don’t want her wilder ways to rub off on you.”
Medaea looked up to see three Novices approaching, with Imrien at the head. After the incident with the bergamot and Imrien’s allergic reaction to it, she had always walked wide of Medaea, but today she nearly sneered at her. Was her it her tired and dull appearance that made the Novice think her mind had been dulled as well? Medaea arranged her expression into one of haughty disdain. She could feel saidar now, the two girls that flanked Imrien would be easily enough with just a minor weave, a spiderweb of Air, Water and Spirit that would turn them against her in a moment. But she held back. She knew what it was that she did and the White Tower had not only forbidden the weave but promised once her block was broken that they would make her forget ever knowing it.
“Does it bother you to know that I was channeling while you still tugged on your mother’s skirts like a child, Imrien? Or that when we’re in our classes you take four times longer than any other to learn a weave?” Medaea’s voice was chill, frost on a cold winter morning. “Stop bothering me with your childish ways, Imrien, I have more important things to be about than trading words with a five-year-old.”
The Novice’s face went mottled with red as Medaea swept by her without a reply, moving toward the sun gardens to her chores. It was an overcast day, the sun hidden behind a blanket of gray with a chill wind that brought a promise of a cold autumn. It was ideal for pulling weeds but her fingers would be stiff and cold by the time she finished and it would be a quiet morning. White Tower inhabitants spent little time in the gardens when the prospect of a dreary day made it less pleasant to stroll through them.
It was that solitary isolation as she walked along a wall that abutted a stepped architecture leading to the looming spire of the main Tower that made her pause when she heard a startled shout. She stood in silence with only the chatter of the robins traveling through the gardens and nearly kept moving when she heard the distinctive call of a male voice, “Someone help me!”
Her gaze travelled up and Medaea exhaled in surprise. Along one of the steps of the building, a man hung precariously from the rooftop ledge, his feet pinwheeling wildly as he attempted to gain purchase along the sheer white wall without success. He couldn’t have more than a couple of minutes at the very most before his fingers would give way and he’d fall ten paces to his probable death. She had to do something! In a recent lesson she had learned how to make a platform of Air in order to make steps that one could stand upon, but saidar was easy to find then with an Aes Sedai ensuring she could work around her block.
“Someone, we need an Aes Sedai, anyone!” Her voice shouted into the silence though—she was alone in the gardens, even Imrien already passed on with her friends beyond shouting distance. “Please, we need help, there’s a man who is going to fall!” Fear spiked through her as she heard his fearful cry echo down from his tenuous position. “Keep still!” She called up to him, cupping her shaking hands to focus the sound. “An Aes Sedai should be here any time soon, just hold still and stop kicking! Is there a ladder or something? Anything?!”
To his credit his feet went still, but even from the distance she could see panic in his face. “Yes, the ladder fell it’s on the ground under my feet though. Please help me!”
“Someone, please! We need an Aes Sedai!” Medaea called out again, shouting as loud as she could, head whipping both way to see if anyone was heeding her call. He was going to slip and die if she didn’t find help for him quickly. Where were all of the gardeners? Where were the Aes Sedai?! Her gaze turned up to him again and she saw a hand slip and he gave another frightened shout, begging for help. Light, if only she could channel! She could save him if—only—she—could—channel!
It flooded into her in a torrent of light. Everything grew brighter, more colorful. She could smell the rain that was just hours away from falling and feel the whisper of breeze on her skin. The True Source was a crooning siren’s song to her and she whipped together the threads of Air to make the platform, attaching it to the wall just as his fingers slipped. He gave one final cry before crumpling onto the invisible platform, safe from plummeting to the ground.
Within moments, the serene form of Candance Sedai stepped from around the wall, a look of satisfaction and pleasure suffusing her ageless features. Blazing with the glow of saidar around her she did—something and took over Medaea’s hastily woven platform, lowering it to the ground. With a start, Medaea realized she had never released the Source, it still coursed through her, life complete with it. How had she lived so long without it? And then nearly on the heels of it, Medaea collapsed to the ground, releasing saidar and looking to the Mistress of Novices with wonder. “My block—it’s gone.”
“It is.” Candance Sedai replied with a warm smile as she looked up at the approaching gardener. “I told you it would work.”
“I didn’t doubt that it would, Aes Sedai. I merely said that it was best to use me instead of some poor gardener who might think he really would get dropped.” Medaea looked up to see a man with a content expression on his face. She recognized him as one of the Asha’man who had worked with Aes Sedai on her block. Asha’man Kegan had been a stern, controlled man whenever in her presence but she appreciated the order he demanded in his life and their sessions.
“Come, Medaea. Let’s get you back into the Tower and run you through some exercises, but you’ve done extremely well. Who knew that you had the heart of a hero lurking in there?” The Mistress of Novices helped Medaea to her feet but it was unnecessary. All of the weariness and exhaustion was melted away beneath the thrill of excitement and success. She had channeled! And she knew that the block was gone, she could feel the Source shining just off in the distance, beckoning her to embrace it. It took all of her control to refrain from embracing the sweet joy once more.
The Mistress of Novices sat opposite Medaea with Asha’man Kegan at her side, both regarding her with stoic silence as only an Aes Sedai and Asha’man could do. They’d had her embrace and release, embrace and channel, run her through several simple weaving exercises that she’d been though in her first few weeks in the Tower and some of the more complicated ones she’d been learning recently. Medaea didn’t care that they tested her in this fashion, it meant she could embrace saidar and any chance to do so filled her with sweet life.
“I’m convinced, though I was sure of it the moment I saw you channeling, Novice Medaea.” Candance Sedai looked satisfied. “You’re lucky that Asha’man Kegan agreed to be the man on the ledge, I couldn’t have put any person in danger just to break your block.”
“I understand, Candance Sedai, and thank you for your consideration. And thank you, Asha’man Kegan. Not only for being my damsel in distress, but for all of your hard work in attempting to break my block.” Medaea looked at the dark Asha’man who nodded his acceptance of the thanks.
“You are dismissed now, Medaea. Perhaps now you can take the time to look after yourself a little more. Ambition and drive is good but only when balanced with maintaining your health.” The stern warning from the Mistress of Novices was delivered in a firm voice, but Medaea could not tell the Aes Sedai that until she attained the Shawl, her ambition to achieve it would always come first. However, the door was opened now that her block was gone and she could focus on not only getting to the Arches but also reaffirming her place with the Novices by taking care of her health and appearance.
Medaea rose and nodded, dropping into a deep curtsey for the Mistress of Novices and Asha’man Kegan, shutting the door softly behind her. She gave a soft laugh from the thrill of success and made her way to the Dining Hall to have the first dinner she would appreciate in months.
In reply to Pretty Faces[show]/[hide]
Medaea dragged herself from the pond, failing at any attempt to control the glower that darkened her face. The Accepted assigned to her this session watched her with a blank expression that could have done an Aes Sedai proud. “Well, now we know that nearly drowning doesn’t work.” Her tone could have wringed the water from her clothes and elicited a small quirk of a smile from the Accepted. Six weeks without results and Medaea had grown to know the men and women who had invested their time to help her break her block. Accepted Pala treated Medaea more as a friend than she did a Novice and it sometimes took the sting away from some of her attempts. “Maybe you should try nearly suffocating me?”
“Don’t be silly, Medaea.” Accepted Pala said, though her smile was indulgent rather than perturbed. “And besides, you didn’t drown, I wouldn’t have allowed it.”
“No, you just weighted my skirts and pulled me down.” Long slender fingers wrapped around her ebon tresses and wrung water with a wet splash. Without warning she felt flows wrap around her and draw the water out, leave a large ball of water to fall into the pond. Her mouth firmed with determination. She hadn’t seen the flows but she had to get this block broken. If she could channel at will, she could have taken the water from around herself and drawn it out. Of course, if her block was broken, she doubted she’d have needed to.
“If you hadn’t been a decent swimmer, I wouldn’t have needed to.” Her tone was arch and she turned on her heel. “Come along, we’ll try something else now.” Medaea followed dutifully, biting back any remarks she might make. In private Accepted Pala was familiar with her, but Medaea was sure to maintain proprieties where any might hear. Not out of fear that she would end up in trouble but so that the Accepted received the respect due to her.
With surprise, she was led to the Training Grounds where Accepted Pala waved and greeted a few of the Gaidin and some of the Trainees. Medaea’s feet kicked up dust with each step while they moved at a fast clip across the Grounds to a low, long building that stretched along the edge of hard packed earth. Entering into the building, the air cooled considerably, a comfortable temperature that surprised the Mayener.
“Here we are.” Accepted Pala opened the door to show a man that stood at least another hand above Medaea’s already considerable height, his hair cropped close to his head and a burnished chestnut. He was an exceedingly handsome man and flashed Medaea a pleased smile when she entered. “Trainee Amiri, this is Novice Medaea. “
“Greetings.” His smile turned warmer and he bowed over her hand, brushing his lips against her knuckles. “A beautiful name for a beautiful woman.”
Medaea looked to Accepted Pala and raised a brow. The only return expression she received was one of very careful neutrality. Very careful. “I have an errand that needs to be attended to, but I’ll meet up with you at High for the midday meal, Novice Medaea.”
Medaea could only stare as the Accepted swept from the room without another word, leaving her speechless to wonder what the woman could possibly be thinking. Why in the Light should she want to spend time with this man? A Trainee who could do absolutely nothing for her? Turning back to the man, she gave him a warm smile; socializing amid emotional distraction was one of the first things she’d mastered as a noble in Mayene. It was a critical skill. “Thank you Trainee Amiri. How shall we spend this time together as newfound acquaintances?”
“We could take a turn about the Gardens and spend luncheon with one another, if this pleases you.”
“Of course.” Medaea smiled and took his offered arm. As they walked she learned about the Bordlerlander. He was Arafellin though a disgrace from his family had caused him to shear his hair and forego the bells that generally adorned the locks. He had been accused of accosting another merchant’s daughter, and although the charges had been cleared of his name, his family had not been able to support him any longer so he had made his way slowly south until he came within sight of Tar Valon. A Gaidin in the city had seen his fighting skills and convinced him to come to train.
“But I’m uncertain if this is my path. Do I want to dedicate my life to serving one woman? Can I?” He shook his head. “I still don’t know, but it’s at least something to bide my time until it feels right or I decide I have to move on.”
Medaea listened attentively as he continued to speak of his own life, taking no opportunity ask about her or how she had come to the Tower. He was much like her husband—self absorbed in his own life and seeing her only as a pretty object to latch onto his arm. As they approached a small secluded area, Accepted Pala stepped into view, basket in her arms. “How was your walk?”
She glanced to Trainee Amiri to see him smiling with a wide open expression. “Novice Medaea has been most agreeable and we had a very pleasant talk.”
Accepted Pala’s smile widened, though Medaea couldn’t say why. “Has she now? Well, she has always been properly sociable when the situation calls for it, please—let’s sit and enjoy the last days of summer with a picnic.”
Medaea sank down onto the grass and spent the remainder of the afternoon speaking with Accepted Pala and Amiri. As the remainder of their food disappear, Accepted Pala turned to Medaea. “Envision the rosebud, Medaea. Let’s see what comes of this.”
With Amiri sitting there watching with bored curiosity, Medaea closed her eyes and imagined the rosebud as she had in so many other exercises. Drawing in a deep breath and letting it exhale from her in an even pattern, she thought of the rosebud. Each petal was wound tight and drawn upon itself, the veins striking and yet subdued in each little petal. She imagined the curve of the bud and how its conical shape strained to release and expand. She desired to release and expand, to open herself up to the sunlight that must be pulsing from the other side. She let each layer unfurl slowly, drawing open to the sunshine that should be there.
Uttering an oath, Medaea opened her eyes and shook her head. “No. Distracting me with pretty faces doesn’t break my block.”
The Accepted let another more vehement oath cross her lips. “I was certain that Trainee Amiri would break it.”
Medaea glanced to the Trainee who still regarded her with eyes that saw her as an object and nothing more. And suddenly saidar was just over her shoulder, calling her with the crooning siren’s song. Just a touch of the Power and he wouldn’t see her like that anymore—no. No. “The only thing he brings is a misplaced arrogance in his own importance and he only helps us succeed by fulfilling my requirements.”
The Accepted’s face flushed as she glanced to the Trainee, her mouth formed in an “O”. Shaking herself, the Accepted looked to Amiri; the Trainee merely looked perplexed by whatever Medaea had said. Just a reinforcement of her opinion of the vacuous and self-centered Trainee. “Thank you for your assistance, Amiri.” The Trainee looked at her a long moment and then flashed a smile to Medaea before bowing and excusing himself.
“You felt absolutely nothing?” Accepted Pala asked, her eyes intent.
Medaea looked to her and shook her head. “Only a sense of revulsion.”
Accepted Pala laughed.
