Reflection

Novice Sadrok Rachin, Written by CJ
Posted on Fri, Jul 30, 2010 15:20 pm

It was very early in the morning, even for Sadrok. The sun’s light had not yet begun to lessen the hold of the night’s darkness. Sadrok moved from where he had been leaning back against a tree in the Gardens again over to one of the reflection pools, looking down into the calm water at the reflection of the night sky above, his silhouette blocking out some of the myriad of lights twinkling in the distant sky. He had been spending a lot of time here in the Gardens of late, and when confronted by one of the Aes Sedai on why he seemed to be idling around his response was always the same. “Aes Sedai, I am trying to work out my Bar.”

Short and to the point, as he usually was when wrapped in the Void, it had gotten him in trouble speaking to an Aes Sedai like that on more than one occasion. It had also prompted some of them to drag him off from his contemplations for them to try to break his Bar in their own ways – there ways differed greatly, but the only time he was able to Channel for them was when he’d gotten fed up with their patronizing attitudes and bit his tongue so he could Channel just to be allowed to go back to the rest of his schedule for the day, usually late for a class or late to attend to one of the Sisters. Light, but one Red had thought she could break it of him so strongly that she’d almost made him late to attending on the Amyrlin herself.

Sadrok assumed it was at Gideon’s urging, but he often found himself being approached by other Gaidin to talk with them while he was in the Gardens. He had apparently told them all of his having similar interests to Cassandra Sedai in regards to their shared views on martial training and his wanting to someday become a Blademaster himself – if he didn’t know better, he would have thought some of the Gaidin pitied him for being able to Channel and thus not being allowed to train to become a Warder. Reminding them that he had come here intending to become an Aes Sedai before he’d even left his home in Far Madding usually brought an end to that line of thinking, at least with the Gaidin he was speaking to at the time, but it seemed to him that helping him find a way to break his Bar had become a communal project to the Gaidin as much as to the Aes Sedai.

His Fire lesson was going well though, Bar or no. Today they had learned the weaves for warming objects.. Fire seemed to come easier to him than to some others, but it still had a mind of it’s own. Weaving it felt almost like Seizing did, he had to fight it, bend it to his will and force it to stay there. When he could do anything with it at all, that was. Consciously, Sadrok had to bring his mind back to focus on the issue at hand. Fire wasn’t a problem for him, no.. His Bar was. But why was he barred? Was this why his mother hadn’t been able to gain Acceptance?

He still knew next to nothing about what happened when a Novice was ready to become an Accepted, only that there was some kind of test involved, he assumed it was something like the flame the Asha’man had had him stare into when he’d arrived at the Tower claiming to be able to Channel. Maybe she had had a block, as the women called them, and had been put out of the Tower? No, that didn’t make any sense, if he’d inherited his block from his mother, then how was her mother a full Aes Sedai?

In reply to MRP - In the Gardens[show]/[hide]

Sadrok had been visiting Gideon Gaidin now every morning since he had begun his first lessons on Fire, at Cassandra Sedai's instruction. He liked her warder well enough, though he had been a bit disappointed that his idea of being allowed to train with him wasn't an option as a novice.. Though Gideon had suggested that a thorough workout every morning would leave his muscles aching – for a while that had been enough to let him Channel. He hadn't lost his temper in weeks now, though there were many occasions where he'd all but wished he had, usually involving a fellow Novice deciding to prank him because he never got into any trouble on his own. The more he talked with Gideon, the less he thought that pain itself was his Bar and the more he found himself walking around with his head in the clouds while thinking about it. For all the thought he put into it, for all the reason for his Bar must have been staring him in the face, it eluded him. Eventually his body grew used to the exercise, and it was no longer enough for him to work around his Bar to simply exhaust himself of a morning. He continued with the exercise though, it had become as much a part of his daily routine now as his chores, though there were some days when he would put it off in favor of getting a little more sleep than he normally would. Sadrok hadn't really made many friends among the other male Novices, they all seemed to prefer to keep their own company from what he saw. It didn't make much sense to him when he thought about it, but to be honest with himself he had to admit he didn't really want to be friends with the other Novices. The men and young boys avoided one another as if they could lessen the stigma of being a male who could channel that way. What was there to lessen? It's not like they had the choice about whether they could channel or not, was it? From what he could tell, he and the other male novices in the Tower were there because they either had already started Channeling before coming, or had been found by Aes Sedai or Asha'man and been brought here because they would channel eventually regardless of whether they wanted to or not. Many of the Aes Sedai and Accepted that dislike the male novices had often called him and others like him a Wilder, and it certainly was not meant as a compliment. So it was that he found himself sitting in the Reflection Gardens during his free time of a morning, rather than doing his usual exercises around the Training Grounds, wrapped firmly in the Void as he contemplated saidin, his Bar, his family's history with the Tower, and his own past. His mother had trained here as a Novice herself, but had been put out of the Tower when she couldn't reach Acceptance. What that really entailed, he didn't quite have a clue about, but he imagined he would find out sooner or later. It didn't really matter right now either, it had nothing to do with his bar, so he put his family's history with the Tower out of his mind for now.

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Replies to Reflection

  • The Future — Novice Sadrok Rachin, Sat, Jul 31, 2010 00:05 am