Coerced Memories

Novice Brileia Narelleva, Written by Katie
Posted on Sun, Aug 22, 2010 02:18 am

Brileia gazed at the male Novice’s expressionless face for a moment before shrugging lightly, idly tucking an errant curl behind her ear. “I don’t know how to explain it. It was just strange. I've seen others look at me like that before. I was just curious to know what it meant.” Bluish-green eyes narrowed slightly as he gave her a vague answer, looking a bit surprised for some reason.


"You'll figure it out eventually, I'm sure…"


"Oh…all right…" She didn't have much choice there, but to accept that answer and move on. Small fingers idly plucked at her skirts before she asked her next question, albeit much quieter this time to make certain that only he could hear her. "Why did you kiss me earlier? Before you knew who I was?"


A delicate brow arched slightly as the petite Novice caught sight of Sadrok appearing a bit shamefaced before he answered her in a more subdued tone of voice. "To shut you up actually…."


To shut her up? Had he actually just said that? Well, it was obvious to her that he had indeed said such a thing. After all, there was nothing wrong with her hearing. Just as Brileia was beginning to think that there was a courteous person behind the supercilious façade Sadrok portrayed, he just had to open his mouth and prove her wrong. Breathing deeply, the young Novice closed her eyes and mentally counted to ten, even as her hands curled into fists so tight that her knuckles turned white. Just as she had managed to gain some semblance of calmness, Sadrok spoke again, only fuelling her fury that much more. "If you'd kept on like that, you would have gotten us both in trouble.. Not that I didn't enjoy it, too.."


Slowly the young girl opened her eyes and pinned Sadrok with the most vicious glare that she could manage. He truly didn’t know how lucky he was that the Mistress of Novices had confiscated all of her weapons when she had come to the Tower. Literally vibrating with rage, she lifted a hand without thought to slap his handsome face. But unfortunately (in her opinion), he managed to catch her wrist before her hand could connect with his cheek.


Her slender wrist caught in his firm grasp, Brileia hissed angrily, annoyed beyond belief at the smug expression on his face. “Oooo….I can’t bloody believe this! You…you kissed me… just to shut me up! You stole my first kiss, you arrogant jerk!”


Deciding that she could no longer stay in his presence regardless of the order he had been given by the Yellow Aes Sedai from the infirmary, the petite Novice deliberately twisted her wrist in his grasp and managed to free herself a fraction of a second before he realized what she was doing. Muttering furiously under her breath, she rose to her feet and began to walk away from him, ignoring the ache in her ankle. She didn’t care if he got in any trouble. In fact, she decided that she wouldn’t even care if he stripped to his small-clothes and danced the sa’sara for the Amyrlin herself.


Of course, that particular thought brought mental images that she really didn’t want, and yet, she found them absolutely hilarious. A giggle escaped her as she imagined what the Amyrlin’s face would look like if presented with such a sight. Caught up in her thoughts, she slipped just as her foot came down upon the path, drawing a startled gasp from her. Just as suddenly as she had tripped, the waif-like girl found herself held in place by invisible bonds. Teal-colored eyes widened in astonishment as she struggled futilely in whatever was keeping her on her feet. “What in the Light?”


It was then that Brileia recalled that Sadrok was not only a male Novice, but had also been in the Tower much longer than she had. And it occurred to her that the reason she couldn’t move was most likely due to that infuriating man as well. Fury surged within her at the thought that he would even dare to do that, especially after what he had said to her. Perhaps another would be frightened of a male channeler handling her in such a way; but Brileia didn’t even consider the fact that he could do more than just trap her in one place.


Just as quickly as she had been caught, so was she released from the invisible bonds once both feet were firmly on the ground. White skirts swirled as Brileia spun around on her good foot with every intention of letting the man know exactly what she thought of him and his actions. But the words died on her lips as she caught sight of him. Sadrok was just standing there with this stunned look on his face, his eyes holding a hint of sadness.


“The last time I did something like that.. No, never mind. You obviously wouldn’t care.” That sad look in his eyes grew in intensity for a moment as he’d started to speak, and then when he’d paused as he changed his mind, his voice suddenly became cold.


Silky, black curls spilled over her shoulder as the young Novice tilted her head slightly, regarding him intently for a long moment. Her soft voice was calm and emotionless as she spoke only loud enough for him to hear, “You have no idea whether I would care or not, Sadrok. You really don’t know me any more than I know you. And let’s be honest…if not for the Aes Sedai instructing you to watch over me, you wouldn’t even-”


“You know remarkably little, girl.” He cut her off before she could finish her sentence. Both his voice and the flat, almost lifeless look in his eyes sent chills down her spine. He stalked off a few paces, his side turned toward her as he collected himself. “It’s none of your business anyway. As for kissing you, I’m not going to apologize for doing something I enjoyed, girl. And from the look on your face earlier, so did you.”


Brileia may have been angry with his reasoning behind stealing a kiss from her, as any other woman would have been in the same circumstances; but she had never been the type of person to sit back and watch someone in obvious distress when she could make an attempt to do something about it. The look in his eyes had taken her by surprise, and she wasn’t going to let his last comment keep her from at least making an attempt to help him. Slender hips swayed gracefully as she carefully approached him, making certain that he would be able to see her at least in his peripheral vision.


A small hand lifted as if to touch his arm sympathetically; however, she lowered her hand, not certain if that would even help. “I have never claimed to know anything, Sadrok, other than my own thoughts and feelings. However…something I’ve said or done has obviously triggered some memories that you are having a hard time dealing with. And for that, I am sorry. I would never want to cause someone emotional pain. If you want to talk about it, then I’ll listen. And if you don’t…well, I can’t make you do anything that you don’t want to do.”


“We were on patrol on the Caemlyn road, a few hours north of Far Madding. Captain Caeyl, Tadred, Maern, Jaer and myself. We were set upon almost within sight of the city – the Captain and I were the only ones to make it back. Using the Power, I killed a man that day.” He delivered this knowledge in a flat monotone voice devoid of any feeling, and he didn’t even look at her as he spoke.


Bluish-green eyes filled with sympathy and compassion as she listened to him quietly, her gaze never leaving his face. This time when she reached out, she actually touched his arm gently – the touch meant to be reassuring. “Well…I can’t claim to know exactly how that feels, and I know that you haven’t told me everything. But…I will say this, from hearing what you have shared, I do think that you had no choice but to take a life. You were in a life or death situation, and did what you had to do to survive. Feeling such remorse…it simply means that you are a better person than you seem to believe.”


“You still don’t understand. I disarmed the man with the Power, Fire and Air to tear the sword from his hand.I held him in place with Air as I ran him through with my sword.” Held him in place just as he’d had her a moment ago, he was implying. He still didn’t turn to look at her though.


“Stopping you from twisting your ankle.. again… just reminded me of the friends I had lost. I would have had to kill more if there had been any left by then, Captain Caeyl had taken care of the others.”


A frown curved her lips as the slender girl stared up at him pensively. It was like he was trying to prove to her that he was a bad person…as if he was trying to warn her away from him by making her think he was dangerous. But truthfully she was not afraid of him, not even with his claim that he would have continued to kill after the first man. Somehow she had the feeling that he would not listen to a word she said at the moment; he was simply too closed off from his emotions and that couldn‘t possibly be healthy for him. Teeth dug into her bottom lip before she impulsively took a step closer to stand in front of him. Leaning up on her tiptoes, she grasped his face in both hands and pressed her lips against his in a firm kiss, hoping that it might draw him out of his shell and get him to truly listen to her.


When she was certain that he was finally paying attention to her, she stared directly into his eyes and spoke in a stern, yet soft tone. “Sadrok…you were in an ambush. If there had been more, you would have had no choice but to fight to survive. What you did that day…was to survive. Do you really think that any of your fellow guards and friends would have wanted to lay down and let evil people kill you? They would have wanted you to live…remember and honor them, yes…but blame yourself for things beyond your control, no.” And when she thought about what she had just said, Brileia blinked in surprise, realizing that in some ways her own words applied to herself as well. Letting her hands fall from his face, she drew away from him, taking a few step back to give him some space.

A soft sigh escaped Brileia as she stood there, quietly contemplating the words that she uttered in an attempt to help the only person she’d actually spent more than five minutes in the presence of since the day she had come to the Tower. She didn’t know if what she had to say would truly help him in some way; but she meant well. For some strange reason, Sadrok reminded her a great deal of her oldest brother Uriel. It wasn’t in looks nor was it in attitude that they were similar, at least as far as she could tell. She felt compelled to help him as best she could. Uriel may have been lost to her forever, caught within death’s cold grip while patrolling in the Blight; but Sadrok was still alive…and in helping him, she would be honoring her brother as well. It was the least that she could do…for now, being young and untrained. But when the time came, Brileia had every intention of avenging her lost brother.

In reply to A Reluctant Guide[show]/[hide]

Sadrok kept a protective eye on her as she stood, letting her walk on her own now as she got used to having the splint on her ankle. He was not pleased about being told to keep an eye on her, but he did have some curiosity about her; as well as a number of questions he’d buried in the back of his mind since deciding he would finally go to the Tower. “Did she at least do something about it hurting?” “Yes... It’s bearable now...” She murmured quietly, looking as if she was being more careful as she walked this time. Outside the infirmary, the young novice stopped, looking around for a moment with that familiar dazed expression he’d seen on the faces of each of the new novices he had brought to the Mistress of Novices office since he’d come to the Tower a little more than six months ago. Remembering that she’d claimed to be lost earlier when she’d ran into him, he waved a hand at their surroundings before speaking. “You haven’t finished getting used to finding your way around the Tower yet, have you?” Her back straightened as she turned her head towards him, glaring at him defensively as if his question had been meant as another insult. “No, I’m not used to this place yet. It’s so much bigger than I’m used to, and I really haven’t been here that long.” He nods softly. “It’s alright, Brileia. You wouldn’t be the first novice I’ve shown how to find his or her way around.. If you’d like me to, that is.” When she agreed, however reluctantly, he nodded and began explaining about getting to know the different patterns of the floor tiles - sharing with her the story of the first time he’d gotten seriously lost in the Tower, only to wind up in the Red Ajah’s Quarters... He had been looking for the classroom for his first Seizing lesson with Asha’man Roran, but he’d started his search in entirely the wrong part of the Tower. Before long, he was treading on red floor tiles. He hadn’t gotten very far into their quarters before five Red Sisters had cornered him, their shawls draped over their shoulders - likely just to put the fear of the Light into him. They’d been pretty successful in that, and he’d been marched off under guard - and probably shielded though he hadn’t known how to tell back then - to the Mistress of Novices office. Candance had rescued him and told him how to find his classroom. He’d barely made it there in time for the class. “Let me tell you, being surrounded by five women that all looked like they wanted to murder me... It was not in any way enjoyable. Not like present company.” He wasn’t flirting with her, exactly... Or so he told himself. just trying to undo some of the damage his earlier behavior had done of her opinion of him. Bluish-green eyes widened at his story, a soft giggle escaping her before she could catch herself. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t laugh... It’s not really funny. I can only imagine how that must have been.” She shook her head slowly, looking around at their path intently. “So... Where are you leading me to? I don’t recognize any of this.” “You should, we’re not far from your well... I’m taking you to where I think the most important room in the whole Tower is.” That’s right... the dining room. It was a just about time for the midday meal, after all. In fact, just as he thought that, High sounded through the Tower. “Hopefully we can beat the rush...” She glanced around again, a smile suddenly curved her lips as she was looking at some of the decorations in the hallway. “Oh... That looks familiar...” She looked up at him and smiled before remembering who she was looking at and looking away quickly, as if she was embarrassed about how she was blushing all of a sudden. His smile grew wider when he caught her looking. When they finally reached the dining hall, he grumbled a bit about having to wait in the line, but he insisted Brileia go before him. She studied him for a while, and for a moment she looked like she was going to ask him something, then apparently thought better of it. He remained quiet through their meal, answering any questions she had about the Tower politely. He noticed not a few numbers of jealous glances that were afforded her way from the other female novices, even one or two Accepted - glances she of course seemed never to notice. She seemed to be choosing her questions about the Tower carefully for some reason. In a way he was grateful, he didn’t need her inadvertently encouraging Rahime and her like. Actually, as soon as he noticed that their attention had shifted off of him, he'd started wondering how he was going to keep things that way. When they finally finished eating, he took her queue and returned both their dishes to the kitchens, leaving them on the counter where the rest of the novices did and ducking back out before the head cook could draft him into service again. He found the grins the other male novices were directing his way ridiculous. Sure, she would be rather attractive when she was a few years older, but he had no intention of letting her stay around him any more often than he had to. He had an image to maintain if he was ever going to get those idiots like Rahime to leave him alone. Returning to Brileia, he started showing her to other places in the Tower he thought she might find useful to know how to get to - the Mistress of Novices office, the doors to the Amyrlin's study, and to the Hall of the Tower. Obviously they didn't enter any of those three places - though he did explain the rules involved in when a Novice was allowed to enter the last two - which pretty much boiled down to when, and only when, they were told to by an Aes Sedai. Brileia’s head swiveled around as she apparently was doing her best to memorize the paths and places that he was showing her, quiet for the most part as they walked carefully through the Tower. She bit her bottom lip - he thought the gesture was rather cute, actually - before glancing at him, speaking only loud enough for him to hear her. "Why are you being so nice to me now?" He smiled at her as he lead her along the hallway, thinking hard about where he would show her next - he'd covered all the important places by now. Though it occurred to him that all this walking wasn't going to be any good for her ankle, so he started heading to take her outside to the Reflection Gardens, maybe show her one of the places he'd used when he was trying to work out how to break his Bar. "Because you've turned out not to be one of those crackbrained fools after all." He looked down to smile at her as they walked. "That is what you called them, isn't it?" "You didn't believe me when I told you that the first time..." She replied quietly, looking at him once more before quickly looking away again like before. She was walking slowly, idly twirling a finger in a lock of her hair. He assumed she was walking slow because of her ankle, and kept his pace slow to match hers. “Well, yes, that's what I called them, and that's what they are. It doesn't take a genius to see that they are close to being useless. I don't ever want to be like that. I don't understand why they act the way they do. Why chase after a man when it's against the rules?" "That's probably a part of it, Brileia. That idiot Rahime.. She's been here eight years already, and she's the worst of them." He smiled softly as they finally returned outside into the sun's light. "And if you did ever turn out to be like one of them, I wouldn't want to call you a friend.." "I ran away from home to keep from being married off. I think you're safe from me becoming anything like Rahime and her friends." She paused just a moment, lifting her face towards the sun now that they were outside again. Either she hadn’t heard his last statement or had chosen to ignore it for now, he thought. "And yet, you're still stuck with me.. At least for the day, hmm?" He smiled for the irony of it, then lead the way around towards the gardens. Before they ventured in, he encouraged Brileia to rest her ankle for a few minutes.. not quite sure what to talk about now as he took a seat on a bench beside her. "Well, it's not like you're going to suddenly have your wicked way with me. You didn't want to marry me either. Suffice it to say, I think we're both safe from the other." She laughed softly, shaking her head at some passing stray thought. "And what makes you think I wouldn't change my mind about that now, after having met you?" He said playfully. Though, in all honesty, he doubted he would have minded so much - as long as she had let him continue to pursue becoming a Blademaster. And he even said as much, after a moment. She watched him from beneath her lashes quietly for a moment. "It wouldn't have bothered me if you wished to become a Blademaster. My only request would have been for you to teach me as well." He stared at her openly for a moment, surprised. Then he nodded softly, as if making a some sort of important decision in his own mind. The idea that she would want to learn swordsmanship surprised him, but it wasn’t like she’d ever have the opportunity to go off and use any of the skills he might impart to her, so he saw no real harm in it. Besides, like he’d discussed with Cassandra Sedai during his Fire lessons, she would benefit herself from being able to protect herself with a blade when the Power wasn’t an option. And then, there was also her being from the borderlands to consider. He thought about his response for a moment, before speaking hesitantly. "Perhaps someday, after we are Aes Sedai and I can resume training to become a Blademaster myself, I will have the opportunity to do so." Silky black curls slid over her shoulder as she tilted her head slightly, gazing at him in undisguised curiosity. "Why would you want to?" "Why wouldn't I?" he asked, giving her a look that in and of itself suggested a number of reasons why - two Aes Sedai working together with their Warders, all of them Blademasters, or nearly... that would be an amazing sight, he thought. "You are a strange man, Sadrok Rachin. Why would you wish to teach me? What could you possibly gain from that?" "Please.. Just Sadrok. I’ve met an Aes Sedai here already who knows how to use a sword herself. What are you or I going to do if we can’t channel? As for what I could gain.. I believe I could gain a companion.. Someone I could trust to watch my back, and who would trust me to watch theirs? Besides, teaching another is one of the best ways to improve your own skill." Still, the way he was looking at her a moment ago had suggested a different sort of companion - if only for a moment. Or maybe that had been a trick of the light passing down through the trees as they walked? "Oh..." She watched him, her eyes shining with curiosity, resting her back against a tree trunk to take pressure from her ankle. Again he thought it was cute when she dug her teeth into her bottom lip for a moment before speaking up again, casting a suspicious look at him through her eyelashes. "Why are you looking at me like that?" He knew exactly what she meant, but still he cleared his face by assuming the Void for a moment before releasing it and answering. "Like what?”

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Replies to Coerced Memories

  • Changing Perceptions — Novice Sadrok Rachin, Wed, Aug 25, 2010 20:01 pm