Novice Diyari Jahdiel Saighan Biography

“A daughter?”  The rasp held an unmistakable feminine quality as a crease appeared on the smooth forehead, hazel eyes still glazed over in pain staring at the pinched face of the squalling newborn.  Lady Amerlis Saighan could scarcely believe it and the glare she directed at her sweating, nervous midwives clearly illustrated her displeasure.  All that effort…all of that agony…wasted.  And for what?  This little screaming thing?  Surely these common born idiots were mistaken.  “Check…again!”  That was forced out past gritted teeth as another fresh wave of pain assailed her.

Lord Kavin Saighan remained curiously silent.  He remained at his vantage point near the open door, arms folded across his chest.  Restless fingers plucked absently at the vertical stripes that ended just below his stomach.  One did not need to see the slashes of colour to know his rank; it fairly oozed from the man.  He idly traced out the scene before him, languid chocolate eyes meandering about the room with an unnatural sort of curiosity.  Amerlis knew he watched and waited to see what she would do.  He was quite familiar with her desire for another boy, a fifth son to strengthen their hand in Daes Dae’mar.  Sons were infinitely easier to maneuver within the Great Game than daughters.

Amerlis would know.

“I…I…”  The eldest of the midwives took a deep breath before speaking again.  “There is no mistake, my Lady.  You have a daughter.”

Wordless, Amerlis stared long and hard at the child, ignoring Kavin’s soft chuckle.  Inwardly, she spared him a murderous thought or two before she pushed him completely out of her mind.  Perhaps this would not be a total loss…  The babe was healthy, that much was obvious from the ongoing, indignant screeching.  Why was it that so small a thing could make such a hideous noise?  The wide, unseeing eyes were a curious shade of golden-hazel, reminding Amerlis immediately of swirled, pale honey.  The soft patch of fuzz that crowed the tiny head was dark, and Amerlis did not doubt that this – her daughter, she corrected herself quickly – would have the same raven hair that Kavin did.  Her mind slowly began speculating as the pain began to ebb, leaving her body quavering and disgustingly weak.

“How beautiful do you think she will become?”  Blunt.  Straight to the point.

“Beautiful enough to attract an array of suitors, my Lady.”  Amerlis stopped listening after that initial statement, though she heard what they did not say.  It was still too early to say.  Who knew how the child would ultimately turn out?  But whatever the midwives thought of her question, it did not show in their eyes, their faces and their discussing voices carefully neutral.  Amerlis repressed a little snort.  These common born fools were not as foolish as she had thought.

“Clean her.  I wish to rest now.”

Their murmurs of compliance were like a soothing balm to Amerlis.  She sensed rather than saw Kavin chuckled softly again before slowly turning and exiting the room.  Light help her, but he had gotten what he wanted.  While he had expressed his wishes for a daughter, he had never really pressed…  It was obvious to her that he was pleased.  He did not understand that daughters did not make malleable pawns like sons did.  This girl was a risk…a very large risk to their place within House Saighan.  But even Amerlis had to acknowledge, however reluctantly, that risks and chances had to be taken in the Great Game.  Only time would tell what rewards she would reap from her gamble.  She would wait, but nothing said she had to participate in her daughter’s raising.  She’d had enough trouble raising her sons.

A hesitant, quiet voice broke into her thoughts and Amerlis clicked her tongue against the roof of her mouth in annoyance.  “My Lady, have you thought of a name for her?”

~^~

“Diyari Jahdiel Saighan, what under the Light have you done to yourself?!”

Melina watched with a mixture of dismay and amusement as the eight year old child fought against the twitch of her lips, the expression threatening to split the little face in half.  “Oh child, you’ve given me another grey hair…” that was spoken with a resigned sigh, the middle aged woman assigned as this little handful’s lead caregiver shaking her head.  “Look at what you’ve done to your pretty dress!”  Not to mention what the child had done to herself.  What suspiciously looked like dirt was smudged all over her chin, smearing up one cheek before fading away.  Small fingers bore several raw looking places, once perfectly manicured fingernails dirty with grime stuck beneath them.  The braid that had held raven hair in place mere hours ago was disheveled, entire sections of loose hair hanging around Diyari’s face and shoulders.  Creator give me patience…

“Oh Melina, it’s just a dress!”  Diyari smiled disarmingly, completely oblivious to the mangled remains of what was once a skirt.  The older woman had to clamp down on her emotions to keep the returning smile from appearing on her mouth.  Light bless the girl, but she had a way about her.  Melina had to concentrate to bring back the mild outrage and disapproval as she shook her head over the waste of such fine lavender silk.  Practicality dictated that children should not be dressed in finery, but when had wealthy nobles ever followed practicality?  This child especially, Melina could not help but think as she eyed Diyari.  Even the girl’s matching blouse bore rips and tears, the seams at the shoulders suspiciously stretched out.  Some had even snapped.  Melina narrowed her eyes.

“Show me your knees,” she said slowly, unnecessarily, hands going to ample hips.

Sparkling golden-hazel eyes suddenly dropped, Diyari unable to hide the telltale flush of guilt that rose in her cheeks from Melina’s sharp eyes.  “My…knees?”  The girl echoed faintly, her hands going to clasp behind her back as she began to fidget.  Dear child…  Melina thought with a fond, inward smile before clearing her throat, replacing the budding smile with a rather convincing frown.

“Knees.”  She ordered, the tone in her voice brooking no room for argument.  A moment of hesitation before the girl obviously thought better of it.  Obediently, Diyari unclasped her hands, yanking the tattered remains of fine lavender silk above bony knees.  “I knew it!”  She had to keep herself from chuckling as Diyari’s head drooped even lower at the evidence of skinned knees and bruised shins.  “You’ve been climbing trees again!”

“Yes,” the child answered meekly, a tumble of raven hair falling over her shoulder as she let the torn silk fall back down.  Her shoulders hunched unconsciously, like she was preparing to have a bucket full of ice cold water dumped down onto her head.  “My brothers do it!” she replied with all of the sulky defiance her eight year old body could muster.  Suddenly, her head whipped up, honey orbs perfectly wide.  The little mouth worked for a moment before Diyari managed to speak, her voice a frightened squeak.  “You won’t tell the Lady, will you?”

Melina’s mirth fled as quickly as it had come at the way Diyari had addressed her own mother.  Her heart sank as she noted that the girl saw nothing wrong with it.  It’s not your fault, dear girl.  She shook her head, her expression unusually sober.  “I will not tell your mother.”

Instantly relieved, Diyari smiled up at Melina with bright honey eyes, not the least perturbed that her most devoted nanny did not smile back.

“Come, we’d better get you changed and tidied up before your lessons with Master Elid.”  Melina spoke brusquely, needing the change of subject to keep her away from dangerous thoughts.  Who was she to tell a noble lady of Cairhien how to raise her daughter?  Nobody, that’s who. she mentally scolded herself.  What the nobles do is their own business.  You were brought on to help keep the girl out of the Lady’s way and that’s what you’re going to do.

“But he’s boring and –” 

“Be glad he’s also patient with you, girl.  You’re as prickly as a thorn and you hold his lessons about as well as a water bucket with no bottom.”

“But…but!!”  Without regard to Diyari’s shrill protests about Master Elid and boredom, Melina hauled the dress off the girl, sternly ushering her towards the bath in the next set of rooms.

“I can do it by myself,” the naked eight year old indignantly protested, baleful honey eyes peeking up at Melina through a thatch of unruly raven hair as the older woman undid the poor braid.

Melina hesitated a moment before relenting.  “Alright.”  The pout immediately disappeared from Diyari’s face.  “But you will leave the door open so I can hear you.  And if you don’t get rid of all of that dirt, you’re going to have to take another bath.”  The girl’s face fell at that before twisting into an expression of adorable determination.  Diyari marched into the bathing room as if she was ready to take on an entire army.  “Don’t forget to scrub out that dirt under your nails!”  Melina called after her, hovering near the door for when the child needed her. 

~^~

Wordless, Dia let her eyes fall to the glistening jewel of warm gold spinning between her slender fingers by a fine golden chain.  Knowing that she could not stare at the multi-faceted gem forever, she steeled herself and forced her shoulders straight.  She would not be cowed by this woman…this woman who birthed her.  Spin.  Doesn’t that make her my mother…?  Doesn’t it?  Dia grimaced inwardly when naught but silence answered that thought and her fingers tightened imperceptibly around the gold chain.  She kept her voice carefully composed as she addressed her mother in the fashion that Master Elid had taught her, but her eyes as always, betrayed her.  “What is this?”  Spin.  Golden-hazel orbs looked upon the Lady Amerlis with hard unrelenting wariness.

Equally hard eyes returned her gaze, but Dia could read nothing in their steely depths.  “It is a kesiera.”

Dia swallowed, lowering the jewel even as she gave it another spin.  “I know what it is.”  The corner of her mouth lifted slightly and she shifted her gaze to her…father.  The Lord Kavin merely smiled at her, the expression lacking any sort of genuine emotion and Dia suddenly wished she was anywhere but here.  Spin.  Nervousness made her tongue twitch and words blurted past her lips before she could stop herself.  “What is it for?  Why have you given it to me?”  Immediately she regretted ever speaking, wishing she could catch the words in mid-air and cram them back into her mouth.  News of this outburst would undoubtedly reach far and wide, another rumour circling that the Lady Diyari of House Saighan could not control her tongue.  Spin.  She fought against the desire to roll her eyes and ruthlessly tried to stamp out her rising impatience.

Lord Kavin…Father…  Father watched her with curious brown eyes, his smile widening almost as if in approval.  “It is a gift,” he explained quietly.  “For your fourteenth nameday.”

Dia blinked at that, open surprise on her face and the spinning golden jewel came to an abrupt halt.

“Girl,” Lady Amerlis bit through the word as if she was biting through a sour lemon.  “You will join us for dinner tonight.”  The Lady waited for the slight nod of Dia’s head before she imperiously ordered Dia out with a point of her finger to the door.

Honey eyes were bewildered as she gratefully escaped her parents’ presence, kesiera clenched firmly in one hand.  “What under the Light was that about?” she muttered to no one in particular, the sound of her own voice strangely calming.  The safe haven of the gardens and trees had never called to her so loudly as she passed window after window, but with an icy sort of dread, Dia knew that the sheltering arms of unmovable, wrinkled browns would be unable to save her this time.

It was with this newfound knowledge that she entered into the relative safety of her rooms, Melina’s frown only deepening when Dia’s usual exuberant greeting and infectious joy were conspicuously absent.  With a helpless little shrug, Dia began reciting what had happened, her small fist opening to reveal the jewel of deep, golden tones to the older woman.  Soon, a crowd of her nannies had gathered around her, their eyes meeting somewhere in the space above her head as Dia’s voice grew softer and softer.  “And now they want me to join them for…dinner.”  She could not help but hesitate before finishing off her sentence.  Lady Amerlis and Lord Kavin had never cared what she did, when she did it, or how she did it.  They had never particularly cared when she ate and when she hadn’t.  So why now?  Why now, when it had never mattered before?

Golden-hazel eyes went to Melina for some sort of explanation.

“Well, girl!”  Impatiently, Melina reached for the kesiera, her voice too loud, the cheer in it too obvious.  Dia frowned slightly, but could not voice much in the way of protest as her gaggle of nannies began clamouring for her attention as well, cued by Melina.  “We have to get you ready!”

~^~

Uneasy, with one foot poised to flee above the smooth tiled floors, Dia glanced once again from her father to the open archway that lead into the dining parlor.  “But Father, I don’t want to.”  Her voice was plaintive and she could not bring herself to look up into his eyes.  In the following months since receiving her kesiera, she had developed a civilized and sometimes even comfortable relationship with her father.  With her mother...well, Dia tried to have as little to do with the Lady Amerlis as possible.

“Come now, doveling.  Surely something about him must be to your liking?”  Lord Kavin cajoled quietly, fingers going to smooth away a stray lock of curled dark hair from her forehead before tucking it behind her ear.

Her shoulders hunched together and her eyes remained fixed on the gilded hem of her full skirts.  “I don’t like the way he looks at me.”

“And how does he look at you?”

Sighing softly, Dia finally chanced a glance upwards at her father, lowered eyebrows and dark eyes giving off the impression of a cornered animal.  “Like…like…”  She gestured for a moment, fumbling over her words before she dropped her arms to her sides, her hands seizing fistfuls of pale rose satin.  “Like he’s hungry and I’m a sack of foodstuffs.”  Dia stiffened at the first sounds of her father’s laughter, incredulous honey eyes whipping up to trace over each contour of his face.  He was laughing at her!  How dare he laugh at her!  Melina and the others would not have laughed, not when she was being serious! 

“Oh doveling,” Kavin reined in his mirth, his smile soothing away some of the hurt indignation in her eyes.  “Such a way you have with words.”  Smoothing away an undetectable wrinkle from his sleeve, he smiled at her.  “Of course he will look at you.  They all will.  You are a very pretty girl, after all.”

Dia shifted visibly at that, acutely uncomfortable with her father’s observation.

“Come,” he coaxed, extending his hand to her.  “Let us return before your mother begins fussing.”  His brown eyes smiled down at her as Dia placed her hand in his, her eyes downcast, the line of her shoulders dejected.  “Only a few more of these dinner banquets.  I promise.”

Dia managed a tremulous smile in return, the expression never reaching her eyes.

~^~

“I will not!”  Dia had to fight the urge to reflexively cringe back as Lord Kavin went deathly still.

“I told you!  I told you Kavin!  She’d bring nothing but trouble!  Daughters bring nothing but trouble!  Now do you see?!  Now do you believe me?!”  Lady Amerlis continued her tirade by the window, her face puckered and an unhealthy shade of bright red.  It was not her mother that worried her; that woman could peel paint simply by speaking to it, but she would never actually do anything.  Dia dismissed Amerlis with a mental shrug.  Her mother’s words had long since ceased to be able to cause her any pain, sliding off of her like harmless water.  But her father…he had lost his civility with her and the expression on his face frightened her.  Why oh why could she not just simply keep her tongue still?

“What did you say?”

Dia flinched as if each word had physically harmed her.  Keep quiet, for the love of the Light, just keep quiet!  “I said I will not!”  Her mind blanked in horror at the sound of her own voice.  She scuttled backwards as quickly as she could, honey eyes perfectly round.  One look at Kavin was all it took.  Her stomach clenched reflexively in fear as her insides became liquid.  RUN!  Dia obeyed, barreling towards the door even as her mind shrieked at her.  Fool, fool, fool, fool!

A vice-like hand on her shoulder brought her up short, a gasp of pain flying from her mouth as she was unceremoniously turned around with such force her feet nearly left the ground.  She teetered dangerously for a moment, the fingers digging deeper into her collarbone.  Panicked golden-hazel eyes looked up into the dark brown eyes of her father that were nearly black with his anger.  Step by forceful step, he brought her back into the sitting room, his fingers latched too tightly onto her shoulder for Dia to even think about escaping.

“Why?”  Dia could only mouth up at her father, her voice, for once, failing her.

Kavin gave her a rough shake before letting her go, his glower enough to keep her from bolting.  Amerlis had finally quieted, though she watched the scene before her unfolding with a smug sort of vindication.  “House Delovinde is not to be trifled with!  If Lord Vesanard wishes to dine with you, then you will do so!”  Dark brown eyes pinned Dia to her place in the middle of the sitting room.

Delovinde…another one of the great Houses.  She blinked up at her father, her confusion written plainly across her face as she surreptitiously rolled her aching shoulder.  “Why would he wish to dine with me?”  Dia remembered this Lord Vesanard from the most recent of her family’s dinner banquets.  He was roughly ten years her senior with a crooked smile and smooth, boyish cheeks.  He had been polite and every bit the gentleman when they had been introduced.  Vesanard was quite easy on the eyes but had spent most of his time chatting with her brothers.  His parents had seemed far more interested in her than he had.  “He didn’t seem all that interested in me.  His parents…”  Her voice trailed off as golden-hazel orbs widened.  In a heartbeat, the last piece of the puzzle fell into place with an audible *click*.  No…

Kavin nodded at the understanding that dawned in her eyes.  “They will be here within the hour.  I suggest you make yourself presentable with the utmost haste.”  Her father did smile then, but there was nothing warm or comforting in his expression.  “Doveling.”  The last bit was thrown in as an afterthought.  “Go.” 

Dia jerked slightly, the last word releasing her from her invisible bonds.  She shot past Kavin, fleeing headlong towards the familiarity of her rooms.  The corner of her lip curled as she ran, her eyes burning with frustrated tears that pride refused to let fall.  So this was the reason her parents had taken such a sudden interest in her.  Anger stiffened her spine, gave her a fiery sort of resolve that she did not know she had.  So the Lord and Lady wished to play games, did they?  Dia balled her fists against her thighs, the sharp sound of fabric sliding over skin punctuating each of her steps.  Her thoughts were fierce as her mind slowly began turning.

~^~ 

The silence that filled the room at her pronouncement was deafening.  The warm yellow jewel on her forehead winked as golden-hazel eyes watched with a vicious sort of satisfaction the fleeting emotions that chased themselves over her father’s face. 

“You…”  The word was exhaled out past lips thinned in stunned disbelief.  “You…said what?!”

“I told him that the only reason he was even allowed into our House was because of his sister,” Dia repeated calmly.  “That fat old man couldn’t tell the Sun Throne apart from a rat’s tail.” 

The fist that slammed down onto the table made her jump, the sturdy mahogany quivering beneath her father’s violent gesture.

Belatedly, Dia realized that perhaps…just perhaps…this hadn’t been such a good idea after all.  The cool confidence that she had felt so sure in a moment before dissipated.  With her heart slowly sinking into the pit of her stomach, Dia grimaced faintly.  Without thinking, she steadily backed away from her father deeper into the confines of his private study. 

Dark eyes followed her, his steps towards her unhurried and purposeful.  The utter lack of expression on his face frightened her more than if he had been spitting curses at her as Lady Amerlis would have done.  A tiny gasp escaped her when something thin and hard jutted into the small of her back.  Frantically probing fingers revealed it to be the smooth, unyielding surface of the windowsill.  Oh no…  Transfixed by dread and paralyzed by a morbid sort of curiosity, Dia could only watch as her father advanced.  Why aren’t you running? a panicked voice in the back of her mind screamed at her.  I…don’t know… she replied absently, truly at a loss.  Why wasn’t she running?

Kavin halted several steps in front of her, dark eyes expressionless, his face a perfect blank mask.  “Your insults have brought scandal upon House Saighan for the last time.”  Her father’s words were tightly controlled, hints of his inner anger moving beneath the smooth, level tone.  “You are young and impetuous, your curiosity better suited for someone of lesser birth.  You had best learn to curb it.”  Dia shivered at that, her fingers unconsciously curling into the embroidered silk of her skirts.  The implied threat was clear, even if the method of execution was not. 

“Father –” 

“Because you are my only daughter, I have foolishly tolerated your wayward tongue.”  Without warning, his arm shot forward, open palm smacking loudly against the wall.  Dia jumped, any words she might have made dying on her lips.  A rush of air gusted past her ear and it was then that she realized Kavin had hit the spot directly next to her head.  Golden-hazel eyes were wide as she turned her head ever so slowly, the very tip of her nose brushing against the side of her father’s wrist.  “I will not do so again.” 

She sensed rather than saw his hand shift ever-so-slightly.  Oh Light, he’s going to hit me…  That thought flitted through her mind as she reflexively squeezed her eyes shut, shoulders hunching as she shrank back against the window.  He’s going to hit me like he hit the wall…like the table!  Fingertips grazed the outside edges of her ear and she unconsciously braced herself for the hit.  Melina!  Dia’s mental cry went unanswered.  Anybody!  Don’t let him hit me!

Time itself seemed to slow as the moment stretched on into eternity.  Kavin’s intended slap never landed.  Instead, Dia’s eyes flew open in startled surprise as a loud crack sounded directly behind her.  The noise was distinctly crystalline and as more and more of the sounds came in rapid succession, she realized that it was the sound of splintering glass.  Her first thought was that her father had missed the mark, hitting the window in her stead.  A cautious, cursory glance told her otherwise; Kavin’s hand was hovering in the space between them, unblemished.  What was even more unexpected was the look of open disbelief on his face.  Dark eyes were wide, his jaw hanging loosely.  As she slowly inched away from him, sliding along the wall, Dia fancied she could see the glint of his white teeth. 

The window imploded in on itself, sheets of broken glass shattering against the windowsill.  She winced at each sound, round honey eyes watching the fractured glass as it littered the carpet at her feet like a million sparkling diamonds.  The air came rushing into the private study, eddies of wind gently stirring at the loose strands of her raven hair.  Dark brown eyes met golden-hazel and for a long moment, father and daughter merely stared at one another.

“Go to your rooms.” 

Dia leapt at the chance to escape, confusion and relief riding on the forefront of her emotions.  What just happened?  Her feet carried her back to the safety of familiarity and she only shrugged when Melina questioned her with narrow worried eyes. 

It was not until several hours later, after her pacing feet had worn a thin line into the plush carpeting that the Lord and Lady Saighan came with the truth of what had happened.  In quiet disbelief, Dia listened as her parents informed her that she would be leaving Cairhien for Tar Valon.  An Aes Sedai had come to their home and had declared that Dia had…channeled.  The Aes Sedai had also apparently left Kavin and Amerlis with very little choice on the matter.  Melina said nothing, though the aging nanny watched Dia’s every movement with over-bright eyes.

Honey eyes blinked rapidly as she reached out to grasp Melina’s hand.  The older woman returned the grip so fiercely that Dia idly worried about bruising.  Her parents were already headed towards the door when she stopped them with her question.  “When did the Aes Sedai say I had to leave?”

Amerlis left the room without so much as a backwards glance.  Kavin turned back to regard his only daughter, his face perfectly inscrutable.  “Tomorrow morning…doveling.”

Dia merely nodded, stunned at this sudden change in fortune as Melina burst into silent tears.