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What Was - Daes Dae'mar
Mon Sep 22 2003 5:49:23 pm
129.174.182.129

Cata’rina ignored the butterflies in her stomach and stepped into the light. It blinded, it seared.

“…The Creator’s blessing on this union for now and all Ages.” The man intoned the final words. “Please kiss your bride.”

The way back will come but once, be steadfast.

His lips were warm and yet cool at the same time, but Cata’rina smiled into the chaste affection and pulled back. It was not a smile of love or devotion but of triumph. Descending the dais to the restrained congratulations and cheers of her family and of Devery Damodred’s House, they walked arm in arm to receive the blessings and tidings. The white cap of pearls and moonstones held unmarred white lace against her unbound ebony tresses, a stark contrast that melded with her ivory skin, complimenting and enhancing her features. The dress bodice was stiff with embroidery, the arms close fitted and ending in points over her hands, while the skirts bloomed full to enhance her diminuitive and petite frame. She looked a porcelain doll on her wedding day, fit for tender care and careful handling. Cata’rina’s smile was wide with pleasure, her teeth perfectly formed against the full lips touched with a hint of carmine, her blue eyes brushed with just a tad of kohl to make them stand out and thicken her lashes. For once, Cata’rina looked stunningly beautiful, a fit bride for so powerful a House as Damodred.

The Damodred side of the reception were icy cool and properly polite to Cata’rina; it was no secret that Devery’s match to Cata’rina was one of political reasons, but reasons that his parents had not been made privy to, nor did he share. Cata’rina didn’t care what the reasons were; she was now married to a rich and powerful House, the stripes would go halfway down her skirts and she would be respected if only for that. However, in her agreement to the proposal laid down by Devery, she knew precisely the reasons for her marriage to him and it was, not surprisingly, fairly political and slightly shrewd. She was meant for an unbalance; she was to go where he directed, when he directed, and make comments and ask questions at his behest. She was chosen because she was, unquestionably, from a minor House of Cairhien, who looked to marry the daughters as high as possible, and would jump at the chance to marry Cata’rina off to Devery. Devery required a pliable spy. Cata’rina knew and understood, and despite it all, looked forward to participating in Daes Dae’mar at Devery’s direction.

It wasn’t so romantic of a connection made between them, but they certainly made a handsome couple; at Devery’s direction, she maintained a loving, cherishing smile, and out of necessity, he places chaste yet affectionate kisses on his new bride’s brow. To the world of Cairhien, theirs was a match of love and not political gain, hence the slightly cool reception from the Damodred side. They carried off the charade with perfect timing, their hands always reaching for each other’s as if to reassure the other that neither had disappeared. Cata’rina didn’t have to affect much acting to maintain a pleased expression. Devery was, simply, very easy to look upon and she looked forward to the new wardrobe provided to her. Devery smiled down at her, also pleased with her appearance and a smile for the future and his ascension in the Game. He knew that Cata’rina would be perfect in the role he had planned for her.

That night, Devery showed her how considerate of a lover he could be, going gently and speaking softly to her, earning at least a partial affection in her heart for him, but her mind remained on the future, the Game he planned to play, and her role in it. The way back will come but once, be steadfast. Cata’rina frowned, there was that voice again; she had heard it just before Devery had kissed her at the wedding, but it was disregarded as someone coughing. But now, in the waning of the night, she was certain it echoed in her mind, a guarded warning; the silk sheet rustled and she tossed once in concern for her sanity. “Rina, are you well?” Devery’s voice was laced with sleep, but concern lidded his tone as he propped himself to his elbow and looked at her in the gray light of pre-dawn. His hand brushed away tumbled locks from her face and she smiled. He was, if nothing, attentive and attractive.

“I’m well, Devery, let’s sleep some before tomorrow. We’ll have a long day before us.” Cata’rina assured him with a kiss to his palm and lay back again, head sinking into the down pillows and allowing sleep to overcome her.

Her hair piled high and was adorned with jewels that sparkled from the ebony, unpowdered mass, soft curls that formed tendrils along her neck to expose the deep neckline and scant cleavage the Creator provided her. The dark midnight blue dress was slashed with stripes past her waist, blue, green and yellow to proclaim not only her social status of the House she belonged to, but the house itself. A single amber drop was fastened to a chain in her hair and rested against her forehead; she felt it swing and twist on her skin as she turned to regard a woman of lower rank than her but more years by the wrinkles on her face. “Of course, the rains in Altara do cause some concern to the crops this year.” Cata’rina’s voice chimed smooth, not a ripple that marred the surface of that still pond. “But I hold true that the Seanchan must be met with all force necessary to turn them back. Perhaps chain them and use them to our own ends against the Aiel savages that wander out of the Aiel Waste.”

The tea rose to her lips, but the liquid barely touched her lips before she set it down once more, calm and serene. There were other things that Devery had asked her to discuss, and when discussion led further than mere idle chat, to steer it away once more. Control the conversation, do not let it control you. First rule, he had stated. The women who sat with Cata’rina were highly respected and well known to do more than just dabble into the Game, nearly as powerful as the husbands they possessed. The idle comments made by Cata’rina would appear to be—superficial, light-hearted talk of a young country noble married into a wealthy and powerful house who knew nothing of the Game or how it was played. They would watch her for what she said, knowing, believing that she gave away hints of Devery’s plans without knowing it. How little they realized she had fallen into the Game and how pleased Devery was in Cata’rina’s grasp of it. The women offered ideas and thoughts on the Aiel, but Cata’rina smoothly steered the conversation away before she would be asked for her opinions once more. One opinion stated tells your position, two opinions open yourself for scrutiny.

“The White Tower has begun to bring in more women and men for training every day. They come in droves now.” Cata’rina watched behind a mask of calm as the women seemed to shift uneasily in their seats, discomforted by the topic of Aes Sedai. It was the reaction Cata’ria sought, to drive them away from the comfort of their own opinions and delve into something they didn’t wish to speak of. Devery sought their true opinions on the matter for reasons he hadn’t shared with her, despite her queries. She couldn’t even fathom the reason behind this particular statement, but she let the conversation flow, this time, at his instructions, to allow it to continue until the bell chimed announcing her need to depart. With a smile that bestowed on the ladies as gracious and utterly composed, she bowed her head slightly to acknowledge their courtesy.

The way back will come but once, be steadfast.

Cata’rina faltered as she stepped into her open carriage, earning a concerned glance to her lady’s maid that was waved aside irritably. That voice was there again, but she didn’t understand the reason or why it felt and resonated such a familiar memory; she could almost envision the White Tower and the corridors within teeming with young women in white dresses, scurrying this way and that, almost imagine herself one of them, laughing and joking with other girls her age that were carefree of responsibility beyond their chores. Shaking it off with a laugh, Cata’rina passed the fancy off as the chatter about the White Tower and cast the thought aside as her thoughts turned inward to what the women had said and didn’t say. Devery knew that the ladies would be more open around Cata’rina, yet still hedging while speaking in the presence of other women, hands deep in the Game. What she observed wasn’t heartening. Two supported the decision to speak with the Seanchan and earn clemency from their tyranny, while another three advocated the total release of respect to the White Tower, a refusal to recognize them as any authority.

Her report to Devery was long and detailed leaving him with a frown marring his attractive features and an absent pat to her hand of affection for a job well done. As she closed the door behind her to the sound of Devery’s muttering, she wondered what he played at and what he sought to discover. Cata’rina knew that if her husband would confide in her, young as she was, she could be more effective, ferret the information better and offer him glimpses of what she saw beyond what he asked. But Devery remained silent upon her questions, bidding her a good day and a pleasant afternoon to spend as she wished.

The next day dawned dreary and gray, the clouds forming were cast with a dark shadow of the threat of rain. Cata’rina dressed accordingly, smoothing the velvet slashed skirts with practiced fingers and straightening the amber drop on her forehead. Descending the wide staircase of their townhouse, the door to his study stood ajar, voices barely discernable even in the still corridor bereft of servants. An inopportune moment and inept fastening by the maid sent her amber drop spilling from her forehead and quick reflexes saved the fragile stone from a sure shattering on the floor. As her hand clasped over the stone, something blazed within her, bringing her to life in a way she could never imagine, even as the words that were once unintelligible were as if she stood in the room. “—she will do well in gleaning what information I need from the nobles her in Cairhien, though. They trust her because she looks so innocent.” Cata’rina recognized Devery’s voice immediately, his smooth tones warming her with his praise.

“But she is still a child and not one to trust very far, Devery. Remember that your devotion is to the Tower, no matter what training you may or may not have had.” The voice was like gravel across a garden walkway, heavy and harsh to her ears and so different from the chimes of Devery’s voice.

“I have been successful in keeping her questions subdued, and don’t fear that I’ll betray my first duty, Jerid.” Devery’s voice was dry, but even Cata’rina heard the wry amusement mingled there. “She will find out what we need to know and then I will return once more and serve as I have for two years.”

“See that you do, Devery. What of your wife?”

“I will arrange for her to retire wherever she sees fit to go, whether it’s remaining here in Cairhien or in a country manor somewhere.” Even through some miracle that allowed her hear his words, she was aware of the fond affection he bore for her.

There was a pause. “You care for the chit, don’t you, Devery? It’s not good—there is an Aes Sedai channeling near. Can you feel it?”

Cata’rina’s concentration broke, the golden glow of light that was so blessedly warm and comforting gone and she sat down on the steps, breathless, eyes wide with shock as two men came bursting from the doors; Devery’s eyes darting from corner to corner while another man, dressed in black with a severe hair cut that was brutally short emerged behind him, one single eye swiveling back and forth to search for something. The Aes Sedai, no doubt. Cata’rina couldn’t catch her breath though, she felt hot and cold, shivering and weak, giddy and yet strangely trembling. Devery’s gaze fell on her, rushing to her to take her in his arms. “Rina, what is it, are you hurt, what’s wrong?”

Nothing. she wanted to cry out. This has happened before, the light, the blessed light, and then this, the Creator’s punishment for holding his power in my hands. But her teeth gritted together, they chattered fiercely and her body was wracked with spasms. She screamed once, her back arching in acute pain for the fire that seemed to sear her very soul, she could hear her screams echoing and the frantic efforts of Devery and the man named Jerid trying to subdue and calm her. The world dimmed and went black, one firm voice echoing in her ears.

The way back will come but once, be steadfast.

“…I’ve seen it time and time again, Devery. She can channel, but she doesn’t know it. She’s a wilder, one who can channel, and will channel, and each time she loses that control, she is getting nearer and nearer to killing herself. She’s probably been channeling like that without realizing it for a couple years, judging by how fast the sickness has taken her.” Cata’rina managed to peel her eyes open to find Devery standing a pace from her, head bent and speaking to the man named Jerid. As if her eyes had chimed a bell to alert them, both men turned to look at her. Jerid approached her, stern countenance reflecting concern. “How are you feeling?”

Cata’rina pulled the sheet to her chest, clutching it with modesty. “Sore. But I’m fine. It happens to me every once in a while and I’m always better after a bit.” Although I’ve never lost consciousness. She didn’t voice that statement, afraid of how her husband might take it. Devery stared at her, a new light in his eyes that made her feel as if he bored into her soul through her eyes and sought something secret there.

Although both men seemed on the verge of speaking, in an instant as one, they turned to the north window. Even Cata’rina’s head swiveled in shock for the beacon of—something—that lay in that direction. It was like the light that filled her to her very being was carried outside of her and placed a distance off. For no reason, she was suddenly frightened by the sheer amount of power that she could sense, without even knowing what it was. Devery’s eyes caught Cata’rina’s and he started. “You too? Do you feel something?” She couldn’t describe the wonder and terror all balled up into one, simply nodded her head, eyes fixed on a point somewhere in the distance that emanated a sheer forceful amount of power. “Jerid, it’s a female and male channeling right now, what could they possibly be doing?”

Jerid’s eyes turned to Cata’rina in reflection but he shook his head. “I’ll go back and find out. You need to bring Cata’rina after me though. If she doesn’t train, she’ll die.” Without warning, a vertical slash cut through her room, presenting her with a strange view beyond, as if the man had opened a window to another place. He stepped through without a word, though and the window snapped shut, leaving only a fine hairline in the marble floor.

Devery strode to Cata’rina, his blue eyes clouded in determination. “Rina, I haven’t been entirely truthful with you since we’ve married. The reasons I’ve been using you still are my own, but they are also the direction of my M’hael.” His hands fidgeted with the silk sheets, but Cata’rina could only look at him in startled wonder. The way back will come but once, be steadfast. “I am a member of the Black Tower, I have the ability to channel. I hadn’t known that the Tapestry would weave me a wife with the ability to channel as well, but here we are, and from what Dedicated Jerid says, if you don’t learn how to control it, you’ll die. I don’t wish that to happen to you.”

What Was - Daes Dae'mar - Part II
Mon Sep 22 2003 6:01:26 pm

“But—what are you saying, Devery?” Her voice shook with paralyzing fear. A man who could channel, one fated to go mad and die! She was bound and married to one and he was a part of the Black Tower. Oh yes, fear tasted like bile in her mouth as she swallowed it back down with a grimace. The Creator wouldn’t be so cruel, would He? And yet that beacon still raged in the north, a pillar of liquid fire that she could feel as if her face was close to the hearth.

“I want you to come to the Black Tower and learn to channel, Rina. There are women who train alongside the men. We’re not as bad as the world has made us out; I’m not going mad and there are hundreds of us there who have not even felt traces of it.” Devery grimaced. “But there are some who are feeling the madness, but we’re careful to keep them confined so they can’t harm the world again.”

Too much warred within her. The beacon blazed just out of her site, unknown for what it was, her desire to know what it was she was doing when she channeled, and the possibility of never being sick after it again. But to a place where men channeled? To be with her husband who could also channel? “I—I need time to think on this, Devery. Please give me the night.”

Devery gave her a smile and leaned forward to kiss her cheek. The warmth of his kiss tingled all the way down to her fingertips and despite what she needed, and the fact that it was the middle of the morning, she pulled him down to her.

“Here, let me take care of that for you, darling.” Devery’s fingers ran up the back of her gown, fastening the buttons with care before bestowing another kiss on her cheek. “But when you get to the Tower, you’ll be required to wear the uniform so you won’t need me to do this for you.”

Cata’rina gave a laugh, feeling strangely free and giddy; the beacon to the north had disappeared an hour previous, leaving a strange void in it’s wake. It was like a scream that had gone on for hours and now that it was gone, there was still the after-ringing presence. “I’ll just have to find other things to keep you occupied then.” She tweaked his nose and gave a smile.

Devery grabbed her hand and kissed each finger, capricious delight mirrored in his eyes. “I’m sure I’ll find something, Rina. Are you ready? Once you cross over, you’re mine forever, equal partners to scheme and dabble into the Game.” She gave a nod, breathless with excitement and anticipation. Equals. She didn’t feel anything, didn’t see anything, but the vertical slash opened once more, a window opening to the area she had seen before, but it wasn’t that which drew her attention. It was Devery’s gasp and the wide set of his eyes that were frightened, excited, and a turmoil of clouds as he held the One Power. “Cata’rina—the—it’s clean. There is no taint in saidin. We’re saved, the Dragon has saved us!”

Swooping her up into a spin and whooping with delight, she laughed, not fully understanding, not comprehending. The way back will come but once, be steadfast. As if it mirrored the gateway that Devery had spun, the silvery arch appeared behind her and all her experiences, all her memories, flooded into her again. No! The silent scream stopped her still and she back away from the arch instinctively, backing into Devery’s arms. She couldn’t leave Devery. He was beginning to love her, she was beginning to love him. She would still learn to channel! The White Tower couldn’t keep her.

You must go back. It was her own voice, her own thoughts chiding her with icy calm. She tried to deny it, deny the truth of it; Devery held her close and he looked down at her with such affection it burned and seared her heart. She couldn’t give it up! You must. A sob ripped from her as she understood this was just all an illusion to her, it wasn’t real. Spinning around the striped skirt swirled as she evaded Devery’s grasp and ran into the light.

She emerged with a strangled gasp, the pain of giving up Devery, his love, his respect, all of it. It pained her, it ripped a hole in her chest that gaped. She'd never sought love out as Novice, she was too busy attaining her Ring, but as just Cata'rina al'Joslyn of Cairhien--she had yearned for it with the whimsy of a young woman. Turning him aside for the White Tower--what had she done?! The water poured over her, cold and invigorating. It awakened her to everything she had done with cold clarity, leaving behind the man she loved and respected for this cold water. “You are washed clean of what sin you may have done, and of those done against you. You are washed clean of what crime you may have committed, and of those committed against you. You come to us washed clean and pure, in heart and soul.”

Not of my heart. It was not my heart that brought me back. But Madeline Sedai's arm was already around Cata'rina's shaking shoulders, from emotion, from cold, and propelling her toward the next turn. The next Arch. "The second Arch is for What Is. The way will come but once. Be steadfast."

Cata'rina could only nod weakly, pulling back the tears that nearly spilled forth and stepped through the next Arch. The light blinded. It burned. It seared away who she thought she was and—

What Is - Broken Tower - Part I
Mon Sep 22 2003 6:02:11 pm

A firm hand yanked her forward, nearly tearing her arm from its socket to elicit a squeak of pain from Cata’rina. The way back will come but once, be steadfast. “Be steadfast, Cata’rina, we’re all nearly out of the Tower.” Madeline Sedai’s voice echoed in her ears in such a way she had to shake her head to clear what must have been cobwebs. The Aes Sedai’s hem was dark with mud and dirt, streaks reaching nearly a hand up the length before giving way to soft green silk. Her own seven-banded hem was missing the bands and caked in grime from too many hours spent crawling across one stretch of ground or another. She didn’t dare look back. The White Tower had been shattered days ago, a resounding and frightening explosion that had rocked not only the foundation but the confidence of every man and woman who resided within. It wasn’t just the Seanchan who had begun the attack. There had to have been someone, or perhaps many someones on the inside who had cracked it from the ground up as well. Seventy Accepted, two hundred Novices, dead. Upward to two hundred Sisters and Brothers dead. Either by the hand of a Seanchan, the murderous hand of a Black Sister, or by the unprecedented and unforeseen attack on the White Tower.

Tar Valon looked so much like the topless spires of Cairhien. Buildings leaned heavily on their foundations, roofs blown open and scattered stones littered the streets. And most frightening of all, the White Tower looked as if a giant fist had punched holes in it from the length and breadth of the massive and unbreakable structure. Cata’rina was among the many Accepted who managed to escape the attack nearly unscathed. There was a long jagged cut up her arm and one crossed across her back from a wall nearly collapsing on her. There had been no time for Healing and to do so might have brought attention and attack upon them. Those who died, died from wounds not dared to be Healed, something that sent all Aes Sedai muttering.

For now, Cata’rina moved with the rest of the men and women fleeing the White Tower. It was no longer safe to call oneself Aes Sedai, Novice or Accepted. They referred to each other as the Light’s Hand. Soon after fleeing the Tower, the seven bands had been ripped from her dress and discarded, it was not desired to draw attention to a girl with those colors on her dress; at least a white dress would be enough for now to keep her inconspicuous. “We’re almost there,” Madeline admitted to the men and women following her, reassurance coming raw on her voice. “Keep your heads down and don’t make a sound. We’ll need to crawl the final leg.”

The dank corridor they journeyed through lacked any light; they felt their way by touch against the rough stone and scent of a fresh breeze coming from the exit so tantalizingly close. It was nearly midnight when the group emerged from the tunnel and each fell to their knees and began a dogged, determined crawling that had become so natural to them in the week since the fall of the Tower. Overhead, lights flared and flashed, lightning rained and thunder cracked so loud that it shook debris loose from already shaky buildings. The Seanchan still looked to take and destroy the White Tower and there were those who remained behind who refused to give up. Cata’rina was told that this was not their battle to fight, that they would be needed elsewhere.

A scream of terror trilled in the pitch black night from behind Cata’rina; Madeline blazed with the light saidar, shining threads whipping out to seek the reason for the scream. It was unnecessary. A frightened and young Novice explained that she had felt something crawl up her dress and had been startled. Cata’rina was given the duty of performing a very unpleasant task of paddling her for her foolishness. Madeline Sedai had embraced the Source and channeled. If they were lucky, no one had been close enough to feel her weaves, but Cata’rina knew by the look on the Mistress of Novices’ face that she had embraced through an angreal and that placed them doubly in danger. Cata’rina wasn’t kind and the girl was sobbing by the time she was finished. Rubbing her arm, one of the male Accepted gave her a sympathetic look before moving on. She was now last instead of at Madeline Sedai’s back, a task she didn’t relish but it was one that led the group of them to an uneventful end in an old, run down barn filled with frightened men and women.

They were received with some relief and welcome, but the more men and women who trickled in only added to the knowledge that the White Tower had been broken by the Shadow and by the Seanchan. The Amyrlin and Keeper, it had been rumored, had escaped unscathed and were hiding in another safe location, but the Hall—Cata’rina shuddered. The Hall had been swept out by the hands of the Black Ajah; it was only fortune that had kept the Amyrlin from attending the meeting that day. Eighteen of the most powerful women in the White Tower—gone in one wide sweep. The blow had been severe enough to the Aes Sedai that it had sent them into hiding, hiding so far from Tar Valon that it took a week’s travel to arrive.

The barn was close quarters for anyone who joined the group, smelling not only of fear and apprehension but unwashed bodies and uncomfortable heat, even for early spring. Crying and sobbing could be heard from time to time, quickly hushed, rapidly soothed by one hand or another. Those Novices and Accepted who had been concealing their romances from the Aes Sedai emerged in the form of male and females huddling together in embraces. Aes Sedai stayed close to their Warders, the color shifting cloaks causing unease to anyone who gazed on them too long in their confined quarters. Ushered forward, Madeline Sedai culled Accepted from Novice, sending each in a different direction. The woman pulled Cata’rina, the last in their group along with the other Accepted and placed each of them before a man or woman. Gazing down their unsteady line, each woman had been paired with a man, each man paired with a woman. The man standing before her was at least ten years her senior, bells swinging in his hair in Arafellin fashion and a forked beard well groomed, even for a man who had slinked through mud and brush to arrive.

The cloak about his shoulders hung limp and made him nearly disappear into the background until Cata’rina squinted her eyes at the man just to keep him in sight. He gave her a serious smile back, hand fingering the hilt the lay just over his shoulder, a twin jutting from the opposite side. Moving down the line, Madeline Sedai murmured to each man and woman until she stood in front of Cata’rina. Auburn hair was ratted and ungroomed, but her composure was golden and reassuring in light of what was happening. “Desperate times call for desperate measures, Cata’rina, and with the fall of the White Tower, we must do what is necessary.” Her gaze was direct, compelling. “As of now you are considered Aes Sedai of the White Tower. Should we succeed and rebuild once again, you will achieve a shawl and take the Oaths. But for now, you are worthy of becoming Cata’rina al’Joslyn Aes Sedai. Welcome, Sister.” Madeline’s mouth tightened, her hands jerking on her skirts. “I cannot tell you to behave as if you bear the Oaths upon you, but I can ask that you do so. To speak no word that is not true, to create no weapon with the Power, and to no use the Power as a weapon except in the last defense of your life, your Warder or against Shadowspawn. Will you uphold those Oaths, Cata’rina Aes Sedai?”

The way back will come but once, be steadfast. Cata’rina reeled at the words spoken by Madeline Sedai. Had they truly become so desperate? Would 150 Accepted raised to Aes Sedai make the difference between victory and defeat? She could only bob her head once in acquiescence, her mouth dry, tongue stuck to the roof of her mouth to render her speechless. The Green Sister merely nodded in approval and turned to the man standing opposite of Cata’rina. “This may sound unorthodox, Cata’rina, but what isn’t right now?” Madeline seemed to mutter the last half of her sentence to herself, shaking her head to clear her thoughts. “The Last Battle is here, the Dragon and his Asha’man are fighting in the Blight. I won’t lose another Aes Sedai because of no protection. I wish for you to bond this man for your Warder.”

If her eyes had been wide at the first announcement of her Sisterhood, the desire to bond a man she didn’t know caused her jaw to drop further. Madeline Sedai kept muttering to herself about desperate measures, but the pleading in her gaze was the deciding factor. She truly was desperate to save any man or woman possible from death and if it meant that Cata’rina would bond a man she didn’t know. Nodding her head, Madeline nearly sagged in relief and offered a quick hug of celebration before hurrying off toward the Novices and Light knew what other purposes that lay beneath the auburn head. Only the movement of the Arafellin man before her drew Cata’rina’s attention back to the task at hand. It terrified her to know that in the space of a few moments, she was raised to Aes Sedai and would hold the bond of a Warder.

Drawing her tongue across her lower lip, she stared up at the man. He was taller than she by a fair bit, tawny hair held by bells but otherwise unbound and warm hazel eyes that spoke of a jovial side in better times. He wasn’t fair to look upon, he was a well-worn from battle and bore the new healing scars of a man who had fought his way from the White Tower by sword and wits and barely survived. “My name is Sanja Tumike, Aes Sedai. It would be an honor to protect you as a Warder.” His bow was low, formal and appropriate, punctuated by the jingle of the bells on his hair as he dipped and rose. “Will you have me?”

Cata’rina wanted to wipe her brow nervously but drew herself up as tall as her short stature would allow. “Bend down so that I can touch your head, Sanja.” As he dipped to allow her touch, she gritted her teeth. The way back will come but once, be steadfast. Oh yes. Steadfast.

Describing what it was like to have a Warder and actually having a Warder were on the farthest ends of the spectrum that Cata’rina could discern. He sat there nestled in her head, a small bundle of emotions that gave her an update every time his mood shifted, which was, thankfully, not often. He was as stoic as all appearances were concerned, but she could feel the determination to keep her safe first and foremost in her mind, a strange mixture for a man who was a stranger. Scanning the horizon, her dress swirled with the same colors of Sanja’s cloak. Precedence had been broken and in the two weeks since Aes Sedai had fled the broken Tower, anyone who had a smidgeon of Talent to produce ter’angreal were charged with making another loom for producing the fancloth material. Seamstresses had worked day and night to produce loose fitting gowns for Aes Sedai to wear and go out into the field with. She wore such a gown and for the tenth time berated herself for looking down and fighting against nausea.

Sanja pulled her back from the clearing so that she melded into the trees once more and she bit back her irritation behind a cloak of serenity. Irritation did her no good, a discerning eye was needed at the moment. “I’m not fit for this sort of work, Sanja. What did Madeline S—Madeline choose me for instead of another girl more apt for the former Green?”

“I don’t pretend to know the mind of an Aes Sedai, except for maybe yours, Cata’rina. But you do have a sharp eye for detail and aren’t swept up in the emotions of looking at the dead. I saw men weeping over those sights just yesterday.” Sanja spoke in cultured tones of respect, but she knew from the bond that it he almost felt in awe of her for her equally stoic appearance. How could she explain to him that emotions merely interfered with the things that needed to be done? “It was your detached nature that allowed us to figure out that it had been Halfmen and Trollocs rather than Seanchan who destroyed the last safehouse of Aes Sedai.”

Her eyes sought the next safehouse, the next haven that appeared normal to all intents and purposes, murmuring, “There was a slaughter of Aes Sedai and Gaidin alike, Sanja. Seanchan would have taken the Aes Sedai for damane.” There, a tendril of smoke, just a small curled wisp that floated into the air, unaffected or stirred by any breeze. Even the Whitecloaks had abandoned their hunt for Aes Sedai here in Altara instead focusing on the “witches” residing in the Seanchan ranks. It was chaos. Rumor said that the Dragon’s treaty with the Seanchan broke with a resounding snap when it was found that he had Aes Sedai working with him. There had been little recognizable of the Seanchan when they attempted to attack the Black Tower in vengeance. “I need to get closer to find out if they still live.”

Sanja placed a warning hand on her arm. “Cata’rina, I’m your Warder now, and I can tell you’re worried for those men and women, but you need to let me scout forward right now. Things are deceiving at a distance, that house may look safe from here, but they might be dead.”

What Is - Broken Tower - Part II
Mon Sep 22 2003 6:07:08 pm

Cata’rina turned to him, implacable. “We’ll go together, Sanja. You can determine if there is anything amiss, but I can feel if there are women there who can channel. I’m wearing this dress, it will protect me from any eye who might fall upon me where your stealth hides you.”

She looked up at her Warder and knew they made a pair. Young chit just new to her Sisterhood, diminutive and child-like, staring upon a hardened warrior who looked down at her as if she were a small girl. He could feel the logic behind her statement, the lack of passion or emotion that might have colored another woman’s words. Sanja sighed and pulled his fancloth about him tight. “Stay behind me, and if there is any sign of trouble, you will fall back until you’re safe in the trees again.” He raised a brow at her when she couldn’t mask her impatience. “Understood, Cata’rina? I won’t have bonded you to lose you to haste.”

Cata’rina shook her skirts once and clucked her tongue. “Of course, Sanja. Understood, now let’s move. Madeline S—Madeline is waiting on me to report back.”

The way back will come but once. Be steadfast.

There was no way back. The Tower had fallen and the Aes Sedai were scattered and trying to simply survive. As one, they began to move at a snail’s pace through the high grass that surrounded the large manor the Aes Sedai resided in. From this distance, Cata’rina could feel nothing of what happened, yet she was not alarmed just yet. If she came within a stone’s throw of the manor and still felt nothing, she would worry, but the distance was too great. Sanja moved slowly, much to Cata’rina’s chagrin. But while she was implacable in her desire to stand within the walls of the manor, Sanja was immovable in his desire to move slowly and with stealth. Only two paces behind him, the large brick structure loomed before her and with some amount of relief, she could feel the ability just beyond the walls, of nearly sixty women moving about inside. Giving her Warder a small twinge to the bond, he looked back at her and she gave a single nod.

Both stood as one and as two other men stood simultaneously, Cata’rina embraced saidar, binding them with Air in an instant. The heavy cords wrapped around them caused the fancloths to lay flat until Sanja placed a hand on her arm. “They’re Gaidin, Cata’rina.” Regretfully, she released them and her hold of saidar. Since the Fall, channeling except for extreme circumstances was forbidden on an unsaid level. Channeling drew the notice of anyone around and the last thing Aes Sedai wished was notice brought on them until it was time to strike again. “Cata’rina al’Joslyn Aes Sedai seeks permission to speak with the women inside.”

One man, blonde hair, pretty features and a petulant mouth nodded. “Follow me.” As she struggled to keep stride with the taller men, Cata’rina requested information from the Warder leading them to the front of the manor. “There are 67 Sisters and Brothers, twenty Novices and 32 Accepted all in these walls. It’s tight quarters, but the—“ The Warder faltered a moment. “Mother is here to take care of us.”

Cata’rina kept her features smooth but inside Sanja had to feel her roiling emotions. What if the Amyrlin didn’t recognize her Sisterhood? What if they would keep her where she was and forbid her to return to Madeline and the others? The pretty man opened the door to reveal a manor as quiet as a tomb. No sounds came from behind shut doors, the sound of voices didn’t penetrate the entryway. In fact, it appeared that no woman or man had stepped foot into the manor in several years, decay and dust decorating where gilt and brocade might have done better. As they stepped through the boundary of the Ward, however, Cata’rina felt herself start in surprise, berating herself for the lack of thought. A particularly stern woman stood at the bottom of the steps, glaring at Cata’rina and Sanja, her mouth pressed into a tight line of disapproval. “So it is true. Madeline raised all of you to Aes Sedai. Well, that didn’t happen here, we’re not that desperate.” The Blue Sister, Cora Sedai, was a Sister of over eighty years and set in her ways.

Striding forward and allowing no emotion to mar her countenance, she raised her chin. “Madeline has sent me on an errand to ascertain this location and bring back reports of numbers and strength. I am told the Amyrlin is here as well. I will need to speak with her.”

Cora bristled and if she had worn a shawl, the fringe might have trembled with her twitching arms, but she merely nodded. “She is not attending any meetings at the moment, I will take you to Mother immediately.”

“It was supposed to be a plan of sheer desperation, Cata’rina, but it will not be rescinded.” The Amyrlin’s gaze pierced her with all the sharpness that she remembered as a Novice, but her golden hair had lost its luster and she seemed to forget about keeping a pristine appearance. “You and the others will remain Aes Sedai, but I must warn you, the barriers that separate the Ajahs have come down and I will not replace them when we are restored.”

Cata’rina nodded, attempting to keep her hands still on her fancloth skirts. “Of course, Mother, nor will I question the logic behind it. But my question was merely one of curiosity and does not touch on my real reason for coming here. Madeline has asked me to gather information and send a message to you. She says, ‘The cage has been broken, the doves are flown.’ Does this tell you what you need to know?”

The Amyrlin’s face fell for just a moment, a hairline fracture in her calm that hinted at the Amyrlin’s true feelings. Even the Keeper seemed to suck in a breath at the words. “Indeed. So it’s true, the White Tower is breached and fallen and my Daughters and Sons have scattered to the six corners of the world. Tell me of Tar Valon.”

Cata’rina drew herself up. “The city is destroyed, Mother. Buildings are collapsed and more fall every day for the tremors that shake the ground. The male channelers did not break the world again as it was feared, instead it was the work of the Seanchan and their hatred. The White Tower fell two days past, a large pile of debris and it has been confirmed that the Hall is wiped out. I have found two camps before this one and, one was obliterated by Shadowspawn, the other taken by Seanchan, or at least to all appearances it was such. Yours and Madeline’s safe houses are the only two that remain that we can ascertain. The Kin have gone into hiding permanently against the threat of the Seanchan and the Wise Ones are currently with the Dragon battling in the Last Battle.”

The Amyrlin pinched the bridge of her nose, Cata’rina could sense the frustration and anger in her voice when her hand pounded on the desk before her. “The Last Battle! Light blind me, but the Aes Sedai were to stand ready for it! The Green Ajah has all but disappeared to the Dragon to aid him, but it’s not enough! There is nothing but a bloody fraction left of the White Tower now! Tar’mon Gaidon is here and I sit at a desk doing nothing, unable to help with anything for fear that we’ll be attacked and killed, or worse, chained.” She became silent after several moments, leaving the Keeper and Cata’rina to glance at one another a moment.

“Mother, it—“ Cata’rina hesitated a moment. She had not discussed her ideas with Madeline, nor would the former Mistress of Novices agree. The cost and threat of loss was too great to even consider. But it must be suggested if no one else dared to do so. “Mother, when assailed with a hurricane, the safest place is not outside, where it can sweep over you and destroy you, but in the eye of it. Perhaps you should consider taking every man and woman who can channel, Novices, Accepted, Aes Sedai, all of them, to the Blight and aiding the Dragon before the destructio becomes too great. Because if he falls, so does the world.”

The Amyrlin stared at her a moment, the Keeper’s mouth hanging open in shock, even the Amyrlin’s brow lifted in surprise. She stared at her hands a moment, many long moments in fact, before she looked up at Cata’rina. “I can’t say that it may be the wisest and most prudent thing to do in any case, but it smacks of logic and some amount of sense. Go to Madeline, instruct her to find every channeler she can and get them bonded and meet us at the Broken Towers of Malkier in one week’s time.”

The way back will come but once. Be steadfast.

The voice was lost in the midst of discussion and planning, however. Cata’rina spent a long night devising a proper strategy before Traveling back to Madeline’s camp. Upon her arrival, the auburn haired woman looked at Cata’rina in expectation. “What is decided?”

Cata’rina looked about at the small amount of girls and boys, men and women and sighed. Light, she was an Aes Sedai, even without the Oaths. To use them so easily, to make the arrangements with barely a thought. Steadfast indeed. “We ride into battle, Madeline.”

The way back will come but once. Be steadfast. Frightened young girls, white knuckled boys, they stood in perfect ranks outside the Gateway, staring in horror and fascination at their surroundings. Madeline had barked orders every few minutes to bring one young person back to reality, but the Warders standing beside their bondmates were stoic, even with the occasional twitch of hands against their preferred weapon. Sanja stood next to her, towered over her, protectively while she stood with the other Aes Sedai, her face smooth of emotion, her insides chaotic with panic and anticipation. No woman in their lifetime would think to be alive for the Last Battle, but she was a new Aes Sedai, raised to her shawl, standing in the Blight waiting for her orders to move.

The linking groups had been set. Six men, seven women to each link. One of the strongest link circles for channeling with. The person directing the link depended not on age but adept ability to direct the flows; Cata’rina was not a leader, but one of the girls she had been a Novice with was in one circle. The sky roiled with clouds and lighting, black, ominous, a sign that battle occurred in the distance, if only for the flashes of explosions and the nearly incomprehensible ability to hear the battles raging from this distance. This was it.

Something appeared just over her shoulder, a silvery arch that shimmered into her view, giving Cata’rina a moment to give an inward scream of terror and frustration as each memory came crashing back to her. No! I can help here, I can make a difference! I am Aes Sedai! She tried to shut her eyes, block it out, but each time they opened, she was acutely aware of it, and the life that beckoned her beyond. Taking a step back, unwilling, forced and with great will, she gave a grimace. “What are you doing, Cata’rina? Don’t break ranks!” Madeline barked at her irritably while Sanja gripped her arm almost painfully to draw her back.

“No! Blood and ashes, I have to go!” Embracing saidar, she picked up Sanja, throwing him at a perfect file of Aes Sedai who all shouted in surprise. Madeline already blazed with the aura of saidar, but it was too late, she was falling through the Arch. Back…

She fell backward out of the Arch and screamed in rage and frustration, the loosing of her emotions into a burst of anger that even made Madeline Sedai pause a fraction before the chilled water cooled her anger, bringing her back completely. “You are washed clean of false pride. You are washed clean of false ambition. You come to us washed clean, in heart and soul.”

She fingered her throat a moment as Madeline turned her final curve, the last Arch. What will be. The worst of all. “Is what we see real, Madeline Sedai?” She asked hesitantly.

The Green Sister shook her head. “No one knows. There are theories that they might be worlds that could be, or reflections of what will be, giving us a chance to shape it away or toward what we’ve seen, but no one knows for sure, child. The last arch is for What Will Be. The way back will come but once. Be steadfast.”

Cata’rina only shook slightly and stepped forward. The light burned. Seared. It tore away her soul and left her bare.

What Will Be - A Heinous Crime - Part I
Mon Sep 22 2003 6:08:57 pm

“What do you think, Rina?”

Cata’rina blinked in surprise, feeling some strange fog over her mind, a mist that obscured all thought and reason. The way back will come but once. Be steadfast. Confusion reigned supreme and it was several moments before she could reply, making her acutely aware of the fifteen other men and women staring at her in expectation. The woman who had addressed her was Lily sur Arkandor, one of the more respected Aes Sedai. And she stared at Cata’rina as if madness had touched her mind. Eventually the fog lifted and Cata’rina’s chin raised slightly as she remembered what the discussion had been about. Several men and women shifted in their chairs as if they sought to cover her slip, but she gave a quelling glance to them, hushing their concerns in a moment. “It is time that the line drawn between channelers and non-channelers is erased, Lily. Too long have we held ourselves higher than they. Even with the Last Battle behind us and triumphed, it does not do to place ourselves back into that White Tower we set for ourselves.”

A couple of the old Aes Sedai in attendance muttered at what would be Cata’rina’s “liberal” views, but neither could they argue the logic behind her argument. Lily simply blinked. They had been Novices approximately the same time and had risen to Accepted close to the same time as well. They also remembered the chaos of Tar’mon Gai’don and how startlingly quick it had been over with once the taint was removed from saidin by Rand al’Thor. He was dead now, his sacrifice at Shayol Ghul ultimate, but his wives bore him strong, healthy children, all with the spark in them to channel. Elayne sat on the Lion throne, serene and holding Andor together and Aviendha had brought the Aiel Wise Ones to the Aes Sedai after, bridging the gap between the defunct White Tower and Wise Ones. His choices in wives were, undoubtedly, fine indeed. It was ultimate pity that his third wife, a woman with a remarkable ability to “view” the Pattern, had perished by his side as well. Cata’rina would have sold her Warder into slavery to have that ability within her grasp.

“The Ways are opened and clean again, but it’s not enough. If we wish to continue moving forward, we must make the bridge from channelers to non-channelers. I put to the Council a motion to research other methods of transportation, usable by all people, and not just Aes Sedai.” Cata’rina placed the rod on the table and channeled a thread of Spirit into it, causing it to glow silver. One by one, men and women alike channeled into the rod until it blazed with the light of fourteen “yeas”. The two who voted “nay” were both older Aes Sedai that Cata’rina had studied from as a student; their frowns of disapproval could be read easily, even with their ageless faces marking them as “old school” Aes Sedai stuck in the traditions of pre-Tarmon Gai’don. For her motion, a consensus wasn’t necessary. Desired, yes, but not necessary. Two of the former Asha’man glared at the Aes Sedai, while those who had used to be Kin, Windfinders and Wise Ones, gave strangely cool glances in the direction of the two stoic Aes Sedai.

Cata’rina wanted to sigh in exasperation. With the disbandment of the White Tower came the Aes Sedai who yelled the loudest. In an effort to calm all, the Council had been formed of channelers. Four former Asha’man, Kin, Windfinder and Wise Ones, in addition to four Aes Sedai convened to make decisions in the name of channelers now. Black and White Tower had been removed voluntarily, overseen now by T’amyrlin and Amyrlin and advised by the Council and elected by the populace of channelers every five years. A new location had been decided upon in Carlain Grass and a new city emerged as a center for all channelers to reside. The Age that came after the Last Battle was not referred to as the Fourth Age, but the Age of Enlightenment. All channelers were considered Aes Sedai now, and they served as it was meant to be. For the good of all, not just other Aes Sedai. The Oaths had been removed from all who wished, and those who insisted on keeping them were now looked upon with pity by others. In the twenty years since the Last Battle, Aes Sedai had done all they could to disband the distrust and suspicion over channelers and only in the past few years had that effort been truly appreciated and noticed. But it seemed that there were still some who insisted on keeping to the old ways. Shawls bearing the fringe of Ajahs had been stripped and burned, but Cata’rina saw some still swaying with an ageless face from time to time and she wanted to sigh.

The Council swiftly came to a close and Cata’rina paused long enough to make small talk with some of the Windfinders over weather methods, but she excused herself as soon as it was polite and made her way out of the large columned building to the paved road below. In twenty years, channelers had done more for the world than Aes Sedai had done in three thousand years since the Breaking. Road created from the Power were paved from city to city, safe, smooth roadways of rock that made traveling by carriage a pleasant affair. The Ways were cleaned and with the guidance and aid of Ogiers once more, they were comfortable and used often for traveling through. Cairhien had been rebuilt and was no longer a city with topless towers. The Sun Throne was held by one House or another, although Daes Daemar had disappeared after the Last Battle was won. Cata’rina scarcely recognized her homeland from what it was like when she was a child. It was most definitely the Age of Enlightenment, and it was Cata’rina’s goal to bring back the harmony of the Age of Legends as best they could and surpass it.

The way back will come but once. Be steadfast.

A Wolfbrother passed Cata’rina on the boulevard and gave her a nod of his head before moving on. The Bretheren were not necessarily “headquartered” in the city of Cuebiyar, but they offered a place of refuge for those just recognizing their abilities and aiding in them in controlling and living with it in harmony. Cuebiyar was certainly all that the name in the Old Tongue implied. It was the heart of the new world, a center for learning, for travel and most certainly the heart of where Aes Sedai now resided, even if only a small fraction truly lived in Cuebiyar. The weather was brisk but sunny, a byproduct of the Cloud Dancers and their control of the weather. Tomorrow was a scheduled day for rain for the crops. Ascending the towering building which kept her own modest apartments, Cata’rina ascended on a lift, something miraculous and having nothing to do with the One Power. It allowed her to rise to the 35th floor where her apartments were in a matter of moments, riding in a large cage of steel. Channeling briefly into her lock, she entered her apartments and tossed her cloak onto a peg before running fingers through her long black hair.

Taking a glance into the mirror, she studied her appearance critically. Large blue eyes were set to either side of the small diamond that rested on her forehead by manner of a platinum chain fastened in her hair, dark sable hair spilled over her shoulders in soft waves, and a face that should have been smoothed with agelessness was simply normal in all appearances, if one were to consider her in her late teens. That she was 52 now and unmarred or untouched by age showed the signs of her ability to channel. Turning aside, she frowned as her Warder, Justyn, sauntered through the door, the bond warning her of his approach before he entered. Although having Warders was a thing of the past, something considered outdated and unnecessary, Cata’rina had decided against removing the bond between them after the Last Battle. She had grown too accustomed to it, too used to the small piece of Justyn in her head to do without him. It offered comfort when she faced against the faction of Aes Sedai bent on putting things back the way they were before. “What has you in a snit now? Did Briar tweak your nose again at the Council?”

Cata’rina settled to her settee and gave a huff of frustration. “Again, yes! Her and Evelyn are bent on keeping things the way they were! The Oaths still bind them and yet they think that this is the way it should be. Traditionalists, both of them! I think that Lily and I were chosen to be on the Council, if only to be a rational, new view to bring and balance out. I’m not one who is inclined to mediate, and if I could, I’d put them both over my knee and strap them until they cried for mercy. Or at least send them to the Mistress of Accepted, Rhiannon, for a good lecture.” Her frustration was pointless, a senseless waste of energy and emotion, but she didn’t understand why there were still two hundred men and women intent on holding to the old ways.

Justyn passed her and gave her a pat on the head of affection. “Well, you’ll get over it, and if it makes you feel better, I can arrange for an Illusionary to be set up so that you can do just that and get it out of your system.” His words were glib and humorous, knowing full well she’d refuse the inane offer, but it did make her laugh. Part of the reason she had bonded him upon her raising to the former White Ajah was the fact that he gave her a release for the emotion she didn’t wish to show. His ability with the strange sword of the former Seanchan was certainly another, for certain.

Cata’rina waved aside the offer with a smile and reclined back on the settee, her eyes following the patterns of the molding on her ceiling. She knew that Evelyn and Briar would not cause trouble, they were wise enough to remain aloof of that sort of frivolity, but there were still two hundred men and women out of four thousand, who caused discord. The T’amyrlin and Amyrlin Aiden and Sediara listened but without concern. Two hundred of four thousand was a small fraction, not enough for worry. Instead, they focused on the continued relations between non-channelers and channelers, Traveling from city to city to listen to petitions and grant requests when possible. The way back will come but once. Be steadfast. Her mind turned to Madeline al’Roise for some reason, a heroine of the Last Battle, riding into the hoardes of Shadowspawn as if she were a Hero of the Horn herself, nearly invincible and unstoppable. Only to be killed by one who fought for the Light by sheer accident. A spear into her heart when her horse stumbled and a man who could not move fast enough.

Shaking aside such strange thoughts of two decades before, Cata’rina ignored Justyn’s meandering through their apartments and his occasional mutterings that were meant to be witty that fell on deaf ears. “That’s it!” His face popped into her view, upside down and a frown decorating his strong mouth. “You are entirely too mopey. We’re going out.”

“Thank you, Aes Sedai.” The woman curtseyed gratefully and led her child away from Cata’rina, looking back with a smile and giving a small wave.

Returning the gesture, Cata’rina turned to Justyn. “You know, I remember when I was a Novice at the White Tower; there was so much distrust, so much hatred toward us. Now, they look for blessings from us as if we were the hand of the Creator.”

Justyn nodded his head. “Try being Seanchan, Rina.” Even through the bond, she felt his residual reluctance to think on those times.

She simply shook her head, wondering how the world could have gone through so much cultural upheaval to arrive where they were. To exist with peace and without vio—“Aes Sedai!” A woman stopped in front of her and gave a bow. “I’m glad that you’re here, there’s a problem.”

Even through her bond, Cata’rina could feel Justyn’s puzzlement at the statement, but after many years of companionship, he knew that Cata’rina would ask the right questions. Glancing at the knots on the woman’s shoulders, she gave a nod, “What sort of problem, Lieutenant, and where?”

She swung her free hand behind her. “Two blocks back. I haven’t notified anyone yet, and the only person who knows is a young man who found her.” The lieutenant was roughly Justyn’s age and evidently had participated in the Last Battle, she barely blanched. “It looked like she was raped and then murdered.”

The way back will come but once. Be steadfast.

With grim countenance, “Show me the way, Lieutenant.”

The room was small and very warm once four people crowded into it, even with Cata’rina’s diminutive figure, but the last body took no note of the added warmth or crowded nature of the room. In fact, the eyes that stared without sight to the ceiling seemed unaffected by anything anymore. What startled Cata’rina was the ageless appearance to the countenance now smoothed free of life. The smoothness that defied an eye’s gauge of life. An Aes Sedai’s face. Tilting her head, Cata’rina studied the body, while Justyn ushered the young man from the room and spoke quietly with the lieutenant in the corner. “When did this happen?” She had been dead for no more than four hours. Her body was still warm, her fingers had not yet stiffened fully into rigor mortis. “Who is the man who found her?” There was no distinctive items about her to indicate who her attacker was. “Who is the Aes Sedai?” There was no mark on her. No trace of channeling, either.

Cata’rina closed her eyes. Not even Aes Sedai. Worse, she was a Councillor. “Briar Rose al’Pazi Sedai.”

What Will Be - A Heinoous Crime - Part II
Mon Sep 22 2003 6:09:58 pm

Justyn’s words halted in the still air, his gaze dropping to the wide blue eyes that stared at the ceiling, lifeless, unmoving. “Rina—“

“Hush, I know, Justyn, I’m trying to think.” It was unthinkable! Unprecedented in nearly three years! The city of Cuebiyar had not suffered a murder in three years, let alone one of so high a magnitude. The Shadow had been vanquished, pushed back. But there wasn’t any other possibility available as to who could have murdered Briar Rose. She was a legend as much in her own rights as Madeline had been. Strong, virile, possessing not only four bonds, but bonded to two of them, but also very adept in several weapons. Enough that she could hold her own against a Blademaster, it was rumored before the Last Battle. She was also strong and adept in the One Power, someone who knew weaves by heart and wove them in the blink of an eye. She felt a tremble to her hand and was surprised to see it shaking, her heart racing with fear. She felt Justyn support her from the side, his legs offering stability when her body began to shake.

The way back will come but once. Be steadfast.

Cata’rina felt her chest constrict with pain and anguish. I want to go back. But her wish never came true, she was here, she was now, and Briar Rose lay in front of her dead. It hadn’t taken a moment to feel the room for residuals and find nothing. It hadn’t been but a heartbeat later that she performed the weaves to detect a man’s weaves, and yet nothing. But there she lay, lifeless. What would she tell Canin? Cata’rina paused, glancing at Justyn. Canin knew already. He would have felt her death the instant it happened, and come to the very spot of her death. But there were no weaves to indicate he Traveled, something that the former Asha’man would have done, undoubtedly. “Justyn,” her voice was hoarse with fear. “Go find out what happened to Canin. Find a male Aes Sedai, find—“ her mind reach out and sought a name of a man she trusted and knew to keep quiet. “Find Kellan. He’s here and he’ll be able to do what you need quietly. I don’t think I need to tell you to speak to no one of this.”

Justyn merely nodded and exited the room, leaving only the guard and the man who had found Briar Rose. Standing, she was the shortest in the room, but held the most commanding presence. Both stared at her in expectation. “I regret this, but both of you will need to be taken back to the Palace for the time until we find out who did this.” Both met her with stares that might have done for an Amyrlin of her own Novice years, but her word was law, and if she wished to place them into a dungeon for what they’d seen, then they wouldn’t protest. “Lieutenant, please escort yourself and this gentleman back to the Palace until this is sorted. I’ll remain with the body.”

There was only a pause before the guard took the arm of the man and led them away from Briar Rose’s still form, presumably to the Palace. She had no skill with Compulsion to place the light order in their minds, simply trusting the woman’s word as a guard to do as she was commanded. As she waited for Kellan’s arrival, she took the time she had to examine Briar. Even in death, she was a beautiful woman, her skin already beginning to pale with the lifeblood that no longer colored her skin. Her arms were splayed out, hands curled into their natural form of rest. A slight piece of color caught her eye, tucked into the folds of Briar Rose’s fingers; ducking down, she opened up the woman’s fingers to find two strands in her hand, two long pieces of string draped over her palm, blue lines scoring the pale skin. She knew what that was. And they were shorter, not long. She knew what they were.

“Rina? What’s the—“ his voice cut off into a strangled gasp as Cata’rina turned to look at her closest friend. His skin was pale and his eyes wide with the shock of seeing Briar Rose laying there in death. “Oh.”

“Kellan, this—“ her voice was shaking. In twenty years, she had not lost her cool, Justyn had provided the outlet for emotions, Kellan had been a confidante for her fears and dreams. While he ascended to the Justice Council with his abilities to stay off any argument, she had ascended to the Council. Even seeing each other rarely, they still made time to share the personal and unique friendship they had. Her hands clenched over the two blue strands. “This was not just an accident, I’m sure of it.” She extended her hand, causing Kellan to draw close and bend to see what she displayed. “These are the strands of a Sash, Kellan. It was an Aes Sedai who killed her. A male Aes Sedai.”

The way back will come but once. Be steadfast.

“Rina, no one can find Canin, but I was able to Trace the weaves that killed her. It’s strange though, Rina. They were Illusion weaves.” Kellan frowned over his thoughts.

“What happened when you duplicated them?” The Council had gone into an uproar over Briar Rose’s death, although they had allowed her to lead the investigation as to who killed her. It wasn’t out of a respect of “first come, first served”, but that she possessed a cool and logical mind that would serve them well in discovering the murderer. There had been the normal panicked declarations from Aes Sedai wondering about their own safety, the discussions that perhaps Aes Sedai should reinstate having Warders as a matter of safety. Eventually the Tamyrlin and Amrylin did what they’d been elected to do and calmed down the Aes Sedai

Kellan frowned, biting his lip while the soft brown orbs stared into the distance. “It was a confusing Illusion, Rina. It was of Canin, but—“

The puzzle piece fit into place, snapping there nearly audibly. “Someone cloaked themselves in an Illusion of him, didn’t they? And then they killed her. Was there any sound to the Illusion? Any weaves besides the Illusion?”

Tears formed into her friend’s eyes. “Just the one that stopped her heart, Rina.”

“Of course.” She murmured, Justyn’s hand resting on her shoulder in comfort. It was strange, but to be surrounded by the two men she loved more than life, and there was still the disturbance in her mind. As if something didn’t piece together right. Once more, something clicked. “Kellan, find the names of every documented Illusion Talent that we have among Aes Sedai, then cross-reference against the former Blue Aes Sedai we have and narrow it down that way. I can’t imagine that the list will be that long for male former Blue Aes Sedai, and perhaps a name will catch our attention.”

Kellan gave a nod and a hug to Cata’rina before leaving, filling her heart with an aching pain of love for him. She loved him, yes, but not in the conventional manner of romantic lovers, but of friends connected by more than just common goals. Justyn stole her attention from the departing friend, “What can I do, Rina?”

His frown furrowed when her emotions spilled into him, the sadness and regret that must have been a tidal wave. “Justyn, I need you to watch and protect Kellan. Now that he’s nosing into things, the person who killed Briar Rose will make him a target to conceal his duplicity as an Aes Sedai.”

Her stolid Warder, normally so friendly and caring, became a stony mask and he shook his head firmly. “No, Rina. The Council knows that you are leading this investigation into her death. Kellan may be the first person to unearth the names, but it’s you that will be piecing the puzzle together. You face more danger than he does and I’ll not leave your side.”

The slurring speech of his native land couldn’t disguise the steel beneath, nor did the Bond allow her to buffer his strong will in the matter. He was decided and it had been Justyn who had saved her life on too many occasions during the Last Battle. She’d trust him with her life and his decision. The way back will come but once. Be steadfast. She shook her head. No, I can’t allow strange distractions from my purpose. Blocking out the voice, Cata’rina felt it fade from her while the purpose that was her core drew stronger than she’d felt since the Councillor meeting.

“Rina, I have the names.” Kellan’s soft voice woke her from pleasant dreams of her Novice-hood, sweet memories of Corenne Sedai and her kindness, of quiet moments in the Library with Kellan and begging his assistance on her assignments. It took her a moment to fully waken, something trying to pull her back down into that oblivion, something that whispered, you can be a Novice again, just don’t wake… “Rina?”

“I’m awake,” she mumbled with a small amount of sullenness. Rubbing the last vestiges of sleep from azure eyes, she glanced over to find both Justyn and Kellan watching her expectantly. Tugging on the end of her curling sable hair, she squinted at Kellan. “Well, let’s see them.” The paper was filled with perhaps twenty names, most of which Rina recognized from her own Novice-dom and Acceptance years, others were names of those she’d led and taught during the Last Battle. Strange, but men were among the least willing to take part in the Last Battle unless they were Green, but again it made sense; they had chosen the White Tower over Black, becoming a weapon not something that appealed to them. The third to last name tugged on her and sent warning bells in her mind. Instantly Justyn was alert, his senses so tuned to hers that she didn’t have to say anything.

“What is it, Rina?” Even Kellan was attuned to her emotions, knowing her well enough to see the small fluctuations in her countenance, and the alarm that must have spread over it. “Do you see a name that means something?”

“Yes.” Her voice failed her, faltering on the word and choking back. No, that would be—it would be pure insanity. Madness! Both men stared at Cata’rina, both exhibiting concern for the distress that marked her face. “Kellan—Illusion is the Talent of taking what you have and changing it subtly until you have an entirely different look, correct?” Kellan nodded his head slowly, his intelligent eyes gleaming with the attempt to understand. “Briar Rose was an older Aes Sedai, she knows the tricks of male channeling and is even bonded to one of the most powerful male channelers, Canin.”

Justyn sat forward, frowning. “Are you suggesting Canin killed Briar Rose Sedai?”

Cata’rina shook her head while Kellan exhaled as the realization hit him. He spoke in the same soft tones, but there was conviction there. “Shanwyn’s on the list. And he’s a Blue Aes Sedai who still bears the Sash of his station. Not often, only during formal occasions, but he hasn’t forsaken his Ajah, just as his mother hadn’t forsaken her Ajah.”

“Shanwyn had enough likeness to his father to make the Illusion simple, and he’s Talented in it. But I just don’t understand—“ Her voice trailed off into the silence of her quarters, leaving Justyn to finish her sentence.

“Why he did it?”

Cata’rina stood, both men following suit just as quickly. “I can’t go to the Council without proof. I have the circumstantial evidence and it’s not nearly enough. I need to find Shanwyn and get him to confess his guilt in the matter.” She shook her head in frustration. “Blood and ashes! What really tweaks me is that Canin is out there, and he most likely knows that his own son killed Briar Rose. Will he kill his own son for his crimes or will he protect him?”

Justyn flexed his muscles. “There’s only one way to find out, Rina.” The grin on his face was nearly mad, she hadn’t seen it since they’d last gone into battle. Her brow rose in question. “We go pound on Canin’s door and see if he’s home.”

Kellan gave a derisive snort. “Do you really believe he’ll remain in his own home while Briar Rose is dead and his son alive and at large for murdering her?”

Cata’rina spoke softly. “Yes. We must fall back upon the old axiom that when all other contingencies fail, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth. No one has seen him in the city anywhere, there is no Trace of his Traveling weaves. Where else would he be but his home?” Justyn merely grinned at Kellan and if they’d been younger, she could envision her Warder sticking out his tongue at Kellan in triumph. Instead, his knuckles merely cracked and they made their way toward Canin’s residence. The way back will come but once. Be steadfast.

What Will Be - A Heinous Cime - Final
Mon Sep 22 2003 6:19:44 pm

At the door there was only silence, their knocks went unanswered. She didn’t channel to use a quick Delving weave to feel for Canin’s presence inside, instead, she merely channeled a trickle of Earth and Fire, two of her weakest Powers, but honed with years of channeling, into the door until the door opened of its own accord. Justyn gave a low whistle of appreciation as her hand pushed the door inward still into the waiting apartments beyond. It was quiet, no sound stirred the air, no shadow fell on the room. “He’s here.” Her voice was barely a whisper, her eyes scanning for incongruities in the walls, the windows, anything. Kellan was doing likewise; although she couldn’t feel him channeling, she knew he held saidin just as she held saidar. Giving a huff of irritation, she finally called out, “Canin, come on! Stop playing games with us. We know you’re hiding here and Shanwyn’s with you!”

The air rippled and folded from the Concealment weaves woven perfectly into the wall not three paces from where she stood. His face was a mask of pale pain and fury, sadness and anguish wrapped all into one visage, his hand clutching to the shirt of a man on his knees, face battered and broken by the force of some bludgeoning object. Saidin, no doubt. Shanwyn was no longer the beautiful young man she remembered, with his sunny smiles and easy countenance. Instead he sat there, glowering and unbroken spirit that from the expression on his face, ranged with madness and an unrelenting desire to be freed from the shield that no doubt kept him from touching the Source. “How did you know?” Canin’s voice was soft, she could nearly see the pain emit from his tone.

She held the two short strands of the Sash for him to see. “She must have understood what was happening before her life faded, Canin. She left them for someone to find and figure out, I’m sure. Canin stepped forward, his curiosity bringing him toward her and releasing his grip on Shanwyn. “They’re strands of the fringe on his Sash. It was a simple matter of cross-referencing, too easy, really, and then it just all fit together. When did you know it was Shanwyn?”

His face contorted with pain. “I felt her death immediately, I was downstairs and never even saw Shanwyn enter the shop. He must have come through the back, but when I felt her die, I ran up the steps—he—Shanwyn was there, the Illusion unraveled and he laughed—“ Canin turned back to his son, face thunderous with grief. “Why did you kill your own mother?!!” His voice echoed with the impact of thunder after the lightning strike.

Shanwyn only looked at his father through blackened eyes. “Because she told me to. She’s been whispering in my ear for years and years to kill Mother. And I finally did. She’s so pleased with me, Father. Lissa is so pleased with her own grandson. So pleased…” He rocked to and fro with his mirth, laughter bubbling up from abused lips swollen with broken blood vessels. They locked on Cata’rina a moment and he licked his lips. There was no trace of the young man she’d seen grow up in the Tower, none of the kind man he’d turned into after the Last Battle. Only madness lurked there. There was a sparkle and his lips moved with silent words before he stared at Cata’rina. “Oh, and now she wants you dead too, little girl. You spoiled her plans, oh she hates it when little tarts spoil her plans.”

It happened too fast, as it always does. First he was crouched and on the brink of insanity, next he had laid out Canin with a strong strike to his jaw, the elder Asha’man sprawling to the ground. She didn’t see the weaves, she couldn’t tell he channeled, but Kellan gave a hoarse shout and threw himself in front of her as the fireball struck his chest, splashing red-orange flames all around him. He screamed, Justyn acted, and as if it were the gate opening the flood of chaos, the silver arch appeared over her shoulder, suffusing her with memories of who she really was. The way back will come but once. Be steadfast.

“Oh dear light. I have to go.” She whispered the pain, emitting it toward her Warder who only stared at her, crouched over Kellan who still smoldered with the flames that had been put out with Justyn’s bare hands. She could feel the intense pain it caused him, but nothing more than the pain of her backing up created. The light in Kellan’s eyes died as she spun around into the Arch, weeping for her friend.

Once through, she collapsed into tears, slender shoulders shaking with the grief of what she’d done. Kellan, oh forgive me my friend.

“What you want is irrelevant, what you have chosen is at hand.”