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Accepted
Aiyaela & Novice Leona:
"Breaking Point"
Accepted Aiyaela
Aiyaela
shivered slightly as she closed her book. She had just been reading
about historical Amyrlins, and top of the list was Bonwhin of the Red,
who had been stripped of the staff and stole for attempting to manipulate
Artur Hawkwing into taking over the world. Not an easy read, and one
she would have avoided for as long as she could had it not been required.
But she was supposed to write an essay on the Amyrlin of her choice,
and very few had exciting reigns, so she had to choose one of the older
Amyrlins or one of the more recent ones. She supposed she could
have chosen one of the influential Browns, but really, they didn’t do
very much. The Blues made much more exciting Amyrlins because of their
constant need to dabble in politics, the Reds being the same, but there
weren’t very many Reds in the first place. The Blues were the most numerous
of the Amyrlins, followed by the Greens, giving her plenty to read about.
Gazing down at her book, Aiyaela considered putting it away and finding
another one, perhaps on influential Blue sisters, because there would
surely be one to write about in there. Aiyaela shrugged. She didn’t
really care who she wrote about, she just had to feel passionately about
that particular Amyrlin. She wanted to write about a Brown sister.
Her entire time she had been in the White Tower she had wanted to be
of the Brown Ajah. Come to think of it, she thought, why do
I want to be a Brown? Sure, she liked researching, and had a strong
desire to learn about ter’angreal and, after the Polaine disaster,
to find all the ter’angreal in the world and catalogue them,
then confiscate the potentially dangerous ones to keep in the Tower.
A noble cause, though more suited to a Blue than Brown.
Aiyaela ran through the Ajahs in her head, trying to see if she fit
any of the molds. White? she shuddered. She had seen what the
White had done to her first roommate, Cata’rina. The girl had become
a robot, not caring about anyone or anything, just her own advancement.
Not that she had hurt anyone on the way, but she didn’t let anything
stop her either. No, Aiyaela was too passionate and emotional to be
a white. And she liked being that way; not dead inside. Yellows
Heal, and I don’t have any talent for that, so Yellows were out.
Greens…no. They’re too battle ready. Even though Aiyaela was
learning hand to hand combat, she didn’t particularly want to fight
in Tarmon Gai’don, or bond a handful of warders. Really, she didn’t
know if she even wanted to bond one, but if she were to travel,
she supposed that having a Gaidin or Gaidar follow her would help. Maybe
Grey? Somehow Aiyaela couldn’t see herself being a Grey. She’d have
to deal with the noble born too much, and even though Polaine had helped
change her views, she still avoided dealing with them as much as possible.
She didn’t even have to consider Red, she knew that was completely out.
That left Blue and Brown. The Blues were a little too power hungry for
Aiyaela. And dealt with politics too much. All that left was Brown.
Is that really how it’s going to be? Because nothing else fits me?
Muttering to herself, she got up from the table to find another book,
this one on the Brown Ajah, or even the Ajahs in general.
Standing at the bookshelves staring at the spines was where the Novice
found her. Aiyaela didn’t recognize her and she was acting rather nervously,
so Aiyaela figured that she was new. “Yes, child?” She asked the silent
Novice. The girl didn’t say anything, just held out a folded piece of
paper. Aiyaela raised an eyebrow at the girl but didn’t say anything.
She was fairly lenient with Novices, and this one looked like she might
die of fright if Aiyaela used the wrong tone with her. She would learn;
they all did. “Thank you child,” she said in a quiet, calm voice. The
girl curtsied then scurried off, darting around desks and bookshelves
and out the Novice door. Aiyaela only stared after her, forgotten note
in her hand. That was rather…bizarre. Shrugging, she pulled a book of
the shelf and went back to her table, then unfolded the note.
Accepted Aiyaela,
Because you worked so well with Novice Leona,
I would like you to teach her again, one on one,
experimenting with breaking her block. Use
creativity and I am sure you will succeed. To have
had her successfully embrace when she was
convinced that she could not channel is no mean
feat.
Good luck to you,
Tiana Sedai, Assistant Mistress of Novices, Aes Sedai of the Blue Ajah
Aiyaela stared incredulously at the note. Leona al’Medina? Light, the
girl hated her! Aiyaela admired her in turn, but only because she was
the second person to make Aiyaela lose her temper. Only Polaine had
that privilege, and she was gone now. Aiyaela groaned when she realized
what this meant. I have to work with her, one on one, until her block
is broken?
Looking back down at her book, Aiyaela closed it and put it back on
the shelf, then searched out another book that would have information
on blocks and breaking them. She could only hope that she could identify
it quickly, and break it just as easily. She didn’t know how long she
could last against the girl, and idly wondered which would break first,
Aiyaela or Leona’s block.
Several candlemarks later, Aiyaela finally closed her book and stretched,
popping the vertebrae in her back. She had several ideas of what could
be used to identify Leona’s block, just by remembering what was happening
in that classroom. Leona had been sitting by a window, staring out at
the gardens below. It had been sunny, she had been angry and frustrated,
and humming on top of that. Any of those could contribute to her block,
so Aiyaela intended to use all of them to get to the bottom of Leona’s
problem. We can sit outside in the gardens she was looking at when
it’s sunny out, seeing how it was almost summer, that shouldn’t
be a problem, and I know I can make her angry and frustrated, that’s
easy. I’ll find out if she has an instrument she can play, she can use
that for the music. We’ll start with that for now, and then try other
things if those don’t work.
Aiyaela thought she would dread working with Leona, but to her surprise
she was rather looking forward to it. She viewed dealing with Leona
as a test, for she would have to deal with many people in her life,
and not all of them would be as easy to work with as some of the ones
she had met so far; many would be like Leona, and discovering Leona’s
block a puzzle to be solved. She had the pieces, she just had to figure
out which one fit where.
Smiling faintly to herself, she put the books away, gathered up her
pages of notes on blocks and took herself back to her room, where she
would write a note to Leona, then go over her notes again, deciding
on the best course of action. Because the weather should be good the
next day, she should probably hold the first session then, in the sunny
gardens. Unaware of the eyes of the Aes Sedai on duty following her,
Aiyaela left the library, humming under her breath. The Aes Sedai smiled
to herself much like Aiyaela had. This Accepted showed potential and
would be an asset to the Brown Ajah. If only the girl would realize
it.
Unseen eyes watched her as she put the books away, gathered her notes
together then glided out of the library. The owner of the eyes, the
Aes Sedai on duty that day, smiled to herself. Aiyaela was a promising
young Accepted, well suited to the Brown Ajah. The girl knew it too.
Why else would she spend so much time researching in the library? But
did she know why she wanted to be a Brown? Curious, Wei Sedai
walked over to the shelves that Aiyaela had been searching through,
to see what had so intrigued her now. Blocks: methods for identifying
and breaking blocks against channeling the One Power? Why would she
need that one? Wei shrugged, answering her own question. Probably
teaching an embracing class or such. She teaches a lot of those classes.
Wei smiled again as she sat down behind her desk. Yes, the Accepted
would make a good Brown.
Leo
had just finished sitting in on yet another irritating lesson on the
politics of the Cairheinin. A lesson that impressed her even less than
the lesson on dancing, something Leona hadn't thought possible. Frustrated,
she quickly rose to her feet the instant the Aes Sedai dismissed them
and headed for the door. Bloody Browns, she raged, always
looking for patterns in patterns! Under it all, she wondered if
the Cairhienin were as bad as the browns or worse. At least Browns did
not usually employ assassins...as far as she knew.
At that auspcious moment a hand tapped Leo's shoulder and she nearly
screamed, thinking it was an assassin. Realising it was another Novice,
she mentally abused herself: You stupid, stupid girly twit! Jumping
at nothing! Next thing you'll jump at little noises and think it's the
shaddowman. The girl handed her a note and she glanced at it, scowling
as she recognised the name at the bottom.
"Thanks," she said curtly and turned her back on the other
novice rudely. She read the note again.
Leona,
I have been told that your block
is, as yet, unbroken and have
identified a number of strategies
with which it might be broken.
Be in the rose gardens by the
fountain before the first bell
tomorrow morning. I will be there.
Accepted Aiyaela
P.S. If you have a musical instrument,
it might be benificial to bring it.
Reading it again didn't improve Leona's comprehension or her mood. Why
would she want me to bring a guitar to a channeling lesson? She
could quite easily recall how much she had annoyed the Accepted by humming
and she didn't think the woman wanted another repetition of it. Still,
she had attended enough lessons with frustrated and grumpy teachers
(mostly Accepted) to have dispensed with the need to irritate them because
they were there.
She saved her efforts for those worth irritating - mostly - now and
merely sat in on her classes. She knew she still couldn't channel and
had frustrated numerous attempts by know-it-all Accepted, and the occassional
Aes Sedai, to find out the cause of this problem. Most had given up
by now and let her sit in on the classes that required channeling without
participation. She had not repeated the feat of channeling in a lesson
either, although that was probably due to the fact that Leo didn't let
herself hum in lessons more than anything else. Hence, it was now more
than a bit irritating to know that someone was taking an interest in
her again.
Leona despised being considered a special case. She knew she was not
able to channel, that she couldn't seem to embrace the source at will
and she was angry that the other novices seemed to know this. It was
hugely annoying and it meant that the next day when she turned up to
Aiyaela's 'special lesson' she was still in a foul temper, clutching
the guitar between her fingers so tightly that her knuckles were white.
She looked straight at the Accepted.
"Novice Leona here for her 'special' lesson" she drawled.
Aiyaela
absentmindedly chewed the end of her pen as she reviewed her notes on
block breaking. She had sent a note to Leona the day before requesting
that she meet her in the gardens so that they could spend some time
in the morning trying to identify what Leona’s block was before moving
on to the crucial step of actually breaking it. Aiyaela knew it was
something that wouldn’t happen in one day. It could take days, weeks,
even months before there would be any progress. Aiyaela devoutly
hoped that it would only take a few days. Light knew she wanted as little
to do with Leona as Leona did with her. The sooner she finished this
little project, the less time she would have to spend with Leona. Aiyaela
had already received special permission from Madeline Sedai to try whatever
she felt was necessary, within reason, and at any time of day, also
within reason. Again, Aiyaela hoped that would be unnecessary. Identifying
the block should be the easy part. She hoped.
She was waiting at the fountain with a basket of hot rolls and some
apples for their breakfast. She had pulled out her notes for what seemed
like the millionth time, to review the various techniques, when she
heard soft, slipper-clad footsteps approaching her across the grass.
Aiyaela looked with a somewhat forced smile on her face to see the stormy-faced
Novice trudging toward her, lute held in a death grip. “Novice Leona
here for her ‘special’ lesson.” She announced sullenly.
Aiyaela continued to smile. She would not let Leona annoy her this time,
as she had last time. She was proud of her seemingly never-ending patience,
and she wanted to stay that way. She knew Leona would be testing the
boundaries, pushing Aiyaela as hard as she could, but Aiyaela would
not let her win. She had to earn the girl’s respect somehow, and blowing
up at her would not help in the slightest. No, Aiyaela would
remain perfectly composed, like the Aes Sedai she was training to be,
and not give in to childish displays of temper. “Welcome, Leona.” She
said in her friendliest voice. “Before we start, would you like some
breakfast? It’s very early, and really, we cannot start until the sun
is higher in the sky.” She held out the basket invitingly. Leona glared
at it, then took out two rolls and an apple and seated herself across
from Aiyaela on the blanket the Accepted had spread out on the damp
grass. Aiyaela helped herself to the other apple and bit into it, savouring
the sweetness of it. Leona followed suit, warily watching Aiyaela and
making no bones about it.
“So Leona,” Aiyaela said, hoping to draw the girl out of her shell.
“How are you settling into the Tower? Are you liking it?” The girl shrugged
sullenly, attention still focused on her breakfast. “Are you learning
your way around?” Again she shrugged. Aiyaela pushed her irritation
down. If the girl didn’t want to socialize, fine, she didn’t have to.
They would just start the lesson instead. Leona had finished her breakfast
and was staring at the fountain. Aiyaela hurriedly finished her own,
brushing the crumbs from her lap. “Now Leona. You do know what a block
is, right?” The girl nodded with a disgusted look that said I’m not
an idiot. Aiyaela ignore the look and said, “Well, you know what
a block is and you know that you are blocked, yes? Do you have any idea
what your block is?”
“No!” Leona finally snapped angrily. She glared defiantly, daring Aiyaela
to contradict her.
Aiyaela did nothing of the sort, merely said calmly, “I didn’t expect
you to. So this morning, all we will work on is identifying your block.
Tomorrow morning we will work on breaking it.” She held up a hand to
forestall the arguments that she knew were coming and said, just as
calmly and firmly, “I have several ideas of what your block could be.
Some are obvious, others are not.” She glanced at the sky, judging the
angle of the sun. It cast a warm glow over her and Leona; it was high
enough. “Right now I would like for you to just close your eyes and
relax, exactly how you did during your embracing class.” The Novice
didn’t do anything. “Humour me,” Aiyaela suggested. Leona reluctantly
shut her eyes. “Can you feel the sun shining on your back?” The girl
nodded slowly. “Now picture your favourite flower.” Leona frowned slightly,
then her features cleared. Aiyaela took that as a hint to move on. “Can
you still feel the sunshine on you?” Again Leona nodded. “Can you feel
it shining on the flower? You are the flower now. Can you still feel
it shining on you?” The Novice bit her lip and her face scrunched up
again. After a moment she opened her eyes. “This is stupid.” She announced.
“Why are you doing this?”
Aiyaela smiled sympathetically. “Maybe because I want to help you?”
Surprisingly, it was the truth. She wanted to help this Novice. Even
though Leona tried to annoy her and do her best to make Aiyaela lose
her temper, the Accepted wanted to help her break her block and get
over her fear of the White Tower. Aiyaela wanted to teach her, to share
her knowledge with the younger girl.
“Maybe I don’t want your help!” The girl snarled. She got up as if to
stalk away but Aiyaela grabbed her wrist. “You are not going anywhere.”
Aiyaela said firmly. Leona tried to yank her wrist out of Aiyaela’s
grip but didn’t get anywhere. Aiyaela tightened her hand. “You are not
going to leave until I say you will. And while you are here, you will
give me the respect that you should give to an Accepted. I have Madeline
Sedai’s permission to paddle you at will. Now, you wouldn’t want that,
would you?” Aiyaela hoped her calculated reaction, a completely calm
voice but strict words would produce the result she hoped for. It did.
Leona’s face flushed bright red and she glared at Aiyaela, teeth clenched
and hands knotted into fists. She looked ready to pop. “Can you sense
the source now?” Aiyaela asked in a mild voice. The Novice’s eyes widened
further. “Come on, how can you not do that? It’s so simple!” Inspiration
struck Aiyaela. “I’ll bet you’re afraid to try to sense the source.
That’s all it is, you’re afraid, because if you can sense it, then you
really can channel like the rest of us, and you don’t want to do that.”
She taunted. Leona glared at the Accepted as if she wanted to rip out
her throat. “Now can you sense it?” Leona seemed to catch on to what
Aiyaela was aiming for and deflated. “No.” she said softly.
Aiyaela took pity on her. “Here, take a quick break. You can walk around
a bit, maybe eat another roll if you want.” She laid her hand on the
lute as Leona bent to pick it up. “But this stays with me, to make sure
you don’t run off. And if you do run off, I will make use of the paddle.”
She watched as Leona wandered off to the other side of the fountain.
Now what should she try?
“Welcome,
Leona.” She said in her friendliest voice. “Before we start, would you
like some breakfast? It’s very early, and really, we cannot start until
the sun is higher in the sky.”
The Accepted looked at her, seemingly undeterred by the lack response.
Underneath the sunny exterior, though, Leona was certain she had annoyed
her. It disappointed Leo, in a way, because the lack of external reaction
probably meant that this woman would be more persistent than most of
those who had tried to teach her to embrace the source. And that meant
that Leo would have to do something pretty spectacular to frustrate
Aiyaela enough so that she would
give up on this silly idea of teaching her. She speculated on what it
would take, briefly, while she ate the apple and rolls that the Accepted
had offered her. No ideas seemed forthcoming so she decided she would
make things up as she went along.
“So Leona, how are you settling into the Tower? Are you liking it?”
Leona shrugged. Shrugs were always a good starting point if you were
aiming to annoy someone. “Are you learning your way around?”
She shrugged again. Momentarily, she could have sworn she could see
a flicker of irritation pass over Aiyaela's face before disappearing
in the way ripples merge in with ponds. Leona gazed expressionlessly
at Aiyaela, waiting for more cracks to appear in her seeming calm.
“Now Leona. You do know what a block is, right?”
Leo just looked back at the Accepted. It must have been a good look
because Aiyaela hurried on:
“Well, you know what a block is and you know that you are blocked, yes?
Do you have any idea what your block is?”
Leona continued to give Aiyaela 'the look', trying to exasperate the
woman but finally exasperating herself to the extent that she answered
with a vehement "NO!"
“I didn’t expect you to. So this morning, all we will work on is identifying
your block. Tomorrow morning we will work on breaking it.” She held
up a hand as if to forestall the arguments that she knew were coming
and said, just as calmly and firmly, “I have several ideas of what your
block could be. Some are obvious, others are not. Right now I would
like for you to just close your eyes and relax, exactly how you did
during your embracing class.”
In response to these irrelevant, useless comments Leo did absolutely
nothing. She stood very still and stared straight ahead of her. Perhaps
if she stood still and was uncooperative enough, Aiyaela would give
up like the others had.
“Humour me,” Aiyaela suggested.
Then again, maybe she was going to continue with this persistent thing?
Disappointed, Leona closed her eyes and gave a fairly good pretence
that she was actually doing what she was told.
“Can you feel the sun shining on your back?” The girl nodded slowly.
“Now picture your favourite flower.”
There had to be something wrong with the Accepted's memory. Leona knew
she had told her, repeatedly, how much she disliked flowers the last
time she had a class with her. Still, in order to avoid conflict with
her, Leo didn't raise her voice in comment. She merely closed her eyes.
“Can you still feel the sunshine on you?” Again Leona nodded. “Can you
feel it shining on the flower? You are the flower now. Can you still
feel it shining on you After a moment she opened her eyes. “This is
stupid.” She
announced. “Why are you doing this?”
“Maybe because I want to help you?”
“Maybe I don’t want your help!”
This was the last straw. Leo was sick and tired of people deciding that
she needed help when she didn't. They did. And she'd had enough of it.
It was time to leave this place, leave the Tower too. The question of
where she'd go raised itself, briefly, but she ignored it as irrelevant.
She stood, as if to leave and realised she couldn't go anywhere due
to a tight grip on her wrist.
“You are not going anywhere.” Aiyaela said firmly. Leona tried to yank
her wrist out of Aiyaela’s grip but didn’t get anywhere. Aiyaela tightened
her hand. “You are not going to leave until I say you will. And while
you are here, you will give me the respect that you should give to an
Accepted. I have Madeline Sedai’s permission to paddle you at will.
Now, you wouldn’t want that, would you?”
Leo went red with frustrated rage. Her jaw tightened and her fists balled
themselves into fists in an effort to stop herself from punching the
Accepted in the nose. She hadn't been in a fight for ages and she was
trying not to get into any. It was so hard, especially now when she
really wanted to lash out with her fists but knew she shouldn't. Besides,
she didn't want the Accepted to know she was getting to her.
"Can you sense the source now?” Aiyaela asked in a mild voice.
The Novice’s eyes widened further. “Come on, how can you not do that?
It’s so simple! I’ll bet you’re afraid to try to sense the source. That’s
all it is, you’re afraid, because if you can sense it, then you really
can channel like the rest of us, and you don’t want to do that.”
Leo struggled harder in Aiyaela's grip. It was probably a good thing
that she didn't manage to wrench her hands free because Leona was so
angry by this point that she wouldn't have cared for the consequences.
She would have pummeled Aiyaela black and blue and she wouldn't have
cared if it got her into trouble. She twisted and tugged until her arms
screamed with pain and then that...that exasperating woman added the
remark that made her see the whole thing for the staged ploy it was.
It made her madder but she didn't bother fighting anymore, just let
herself go limp.
“Here, take a quick break. You can walk around a bit, maybe eat another
roll if you want. But this stays with me, to make sure you don’t run
off. And if you do run off, I will make use of the paddle.”
Leo glared and muttered something under her breath that she would not
repeat aloud. Stomping off to the other side of the fountain, Leo stared
hungrily at her guitar. Light but she would give anything just to pick
it up and leave behind this disaster of a lesson. But there was no
way to do that...was there?
The thought winked into Leo's mind and left her breathless. Perhaps
there was a way to get out of this nightmare of a lesson. Brain whirling,
she quickly summed up her ideas and was ready to go into action. Leo
clutched at her stomach, doubling over.
"Owwwwwwwww!" she wailed convincingly, contorting her face
into an expression of pain. Now all she had to do was wait for the Accepted
to take the bait.
Aiyaela
watched Leona circle the fountain with narrowed eyes. Never had she
dealt with such a stubborn person. She had been under the impression
that bullying the girl would work, but it appeared she had been wrong.
Muttering to herself, she ran her fingers along the strings of the lute.
She had read about typical blocks and then the more unusual ones. Daia
had a very unusual block, and it appeared that Leona might have one.
Could it really be tied to music, though? Aiyaela had never heard of
a block that required physical action, like playing an instrument, though
she supposed it was possible.
Where was that girl? She had disappeared behind the fountain, though
Aiyaela doubted she would run away, not while the Accepted was holding
her lute hostage. Climbing to her feet, Aiyaela started to walk around
the side of the fountain when she heard Leona wail, and saw her blurry
figure through the water double over, almost falling over. Aiyaela broke
into a sprint, catching the girl before she fell completely. “Leona,
what’s wrong? Where does it hurt? Do you want me to get a Yellow sister?”
Aiyaela looked down at the young Novice, whose face was twisted with
pain. Light, how she wished she knew Healing, or at least how to delve,
to see what was wrong with the girl. It wasn’t the breakfast, because
she had eaten it too, unless the girl had a sensitivity to something?
In Tarabon, Aiyaela had known a boy who couldn’t eat redberries, because
they gave him stomach cramps; maybe that’s what had happened to Leona?
“Come on, let’s get you back to the blanket,” Aiyaela said soothingly,
supporting the girl and half carrying, half dragging her back to the
blanket. She helped the Novice lay down, smoothing her hand over her
forehead to check for fever. There was none. Biting her lip in frustration,
Aiyaela turned to look at the Tower, and in that instant, Leona had
jumped to her feet, snatched up her guitar and was pelting back to the
Tower.
Aiyaela’s jaw dropped and her eyes bulged out. Reaching out, she embraced
saidar, and without a conscious thought, had woven a flexible
net of Air and thrown it around the Novice. Aiyaela’s eyes were squinched
shut with concentration; she had never woven something so quickly or
so far away, meant to hold a human body with that sort of momentum.
Leona stopped, bouncing slightly off the net. Shaking her head with
disorientation, she didn’t have a chance to move before Aiyaela snapped
out with Air again, laced with Spirit. The bonds wrapped themselves
against the girl, making it impossible for her to move. Her enraged
shriek echoed around the gardens, so loud Aiyaela suspected half the
Tower had heard her.
Smiling smugly, Aiyaela approached Leona, guitar in hand. “Nice try,”
she said. “Now, were you able to use saidar, you would have been
able to sense my weaving and slice the flows, offering a getaway. Now,
if you were able to use saidar, however, you wouldn’t be here,
so this would have been unnecessary, yes?” Still smiling, Aiyaela used
her flows to move Leona back to the blanket. She unbound her legs, commanding
the girl to sit, who automatically did. The smile was gone from Aiyaela’s
face. “Honestly, Leona, I want to help you. I don’t know why you’re
making it so difficult for yourself. If you just cooperate, you won’t
have to deal with this any more. I know you can sense saidar
and what’s more, I know you can channel it, and will most likely
be very strong once you do succeed in some control over it. But for
now, your life is in danger every time you use it without conscious
control. I don’t know if you don’t believe you can channel, or don’t
want to believe, you don’t have a choice: you can channel.” She
watched the girl sadly, wishing she could just accept it. “Leona, I
taught your embracing class. I watched you stare out that window, and
for a split second, light up as if you were a sun yourself, when you
touched saidar. Those colours you told me about, in the clouds
and around your guitar? Those are the elements. You can see them when
you play, yes? And when you play, or sing, or do anything musical, you
feel as if you’re sitting in the sunshine, yes?” The girl’s face was
expressionless. Even if she knew nothing else about Aes Sedai, she knew
how to keep her face as cold and impassive as the best of them.
“Leona, if you can’t channel, why did you come to the White Tower in
the first place?” The girl made no move to answer. “Leona, if I tell
you why I came to the Tower and allowed myself to become one of the
‘witches of Tar Valon’, will you tell me why you came? I am very curious.
Most girls seek the Tower, hoping to be told they can channel; very
few are brought against their will.” The girl’s head nodded almost imperceptibly.
Settling into a more comfortable position, Aiyaela relaxed slightly,
though kept the bonds around the girl, and kept herself on the brink
of embracing, just in case she tried to run again. The lute was balanced
on her knees, where Leona had no hope of grabbing it.
“My mother was an innkeeper in Tanchico, in Tarabon. My father, he was
a Saldaean merchant, who traveled from Tanchico up to Maradon and back
again every year, on trading runs. My mother, she had a rule that none
of my brothers and sisters younger than sixteen could go with our father’s
caravan. I have one older sister, she has her own inn.” As always, when
Aiyaela talked about Tarabon, her strong accent came back, memories
of home making her wish, again and again, that she could go back, at
least to visit. She was unaware of the linguistic change, but others
around her had noticed it before, and commented on it. “I was sixteen
before mother, she allowed me to join the traders. I always wanted to
have my own caravan and travel everywhere, even across the Aiel Waste,
and into Shara. They say the Sharan’s are all thieves, but I wanted
to see them for myself. I rode with him for three years. When I was
nineteen summers, he decided that we would go to Andor and Cairhien,
try trading there.” She smiled at the memory of her father announcing
their new route, weeks before they rode out. She and one of her younger
brothers, Bennan, who was also traveling with them, were ecstatic. They
had always dreamed of seeing Caemlyn and Cairhien, and now that dream
would come true. “Father also wanted to take us to Tar Valon. ‘You may
never get another chance to see the White Tower’ he had told us. My
brother, he and I knew very little about Aes Sedai. Our inn wasn’t the
type an Aes Sedai would patron, and it’s amazing how easy it is to miss
them when you’re both traveling. I had never seen one, and only knew
what was told in stories.” She laughed at her ignorance of Aes Sedai.
She hadn’t been afraid of them, but she had been wary. All the stories
portrayed them as witches, or at least, not what you would expect. How
right they had been about the unexpected, though completely wrong about
them being witches. “I was sent to scout in Tar Valon to find a good
place to set up the wagons and to find out where we would be allowed.
While there, I took a side trip to look at the Tower. A woman came up
behind me and introduced herself as Bronwyn Sedai, of the Brown Ajah.
She told me that I could learn how to channel, and that I belonged in
the Tower. Really, she would take nothing other than ‘yes’ for an answer
when she asked if I was going to become a Novice. That night I told
my father what had happened, and he sent me off with his blessings.
I was nineteen when that happened.” Aiyaela smiled and spread her hands.
“It’s amazing what happens in ten years, yes?” She almost laughed at
the look on Leona’s face. “I know, I do not look nearly thirty. I do
not feel thirty, either. I began slowing early, and so I will look like
I am in my early twenties for the next hundred years or so, maybe more.”
She smiled happily at Leona. “Not necessarily a bad thing, yes? Now
tell me, Leona al’Medina: what brought you to the White Tower?”
Leo
listened, interested in spite of herself as the older girl - no, woman
- told her of her reasons for coming to the Tower with an accent that
gradually changed with the telling of the tale. She could not believe
that Aiyaela was near thirty, that she had willingly spent ten years
in this place.
She does not look near thirty, Leo's brain told her as it questioned
the truths of the tale. Another part of her brain whispered of the tales
that told of Aes Sedai living forever and she shuddered. Leona didn't
think she wanted to live forever and a few hundred years was certainly
near enough to forever for her. A few hundred years without Leira...
The Accepted was smiling happily at her, seemingly trusting Leo enough
that she almost felt as if she ought to give a response. Light, she
probably even owed the woman something of a response considering the
way she'd behaved. Leo sighed again. She didn't really want to tell
the story, didn't want to remember it at all. Once, she'd almost been
tempted to tell another novice part of the story but she'd managed to
stop herself from telling the worst of it, even as the details replayed
themselves in graphic detail in her mind. And Leo still wasn't sure
she wanted to channel. If she told her story, wouldn't it be the
first step towards becoming an Aes Sedai? A step towards the Acceptance
the Aes Sedai so often droned on about?
Leo looked up from her shoes, which she had been contemplating, to find
the Accepted's gaze on her. Maybe it would be a good thing to tell
her. Maybe not. Leo kept dithering between telling the Accepted
to mind her own business and telling something of the tale. She thought
she trusted Aiyaela - after all, she'd probably behaved bad enough to
gain herself a pennance in her last class and the Accepted had not reported
her to Madeline Sedai - but she still feared that her tale would get
around the Tower. It certainly wasn't the usual tale of how one got
to the Tower.
"I used to live in the Black Hills," she said finally. She
hesitated, visibly forcing herself to continue the tale. "I only
had one sister - "
Leo stopped. She really didn't want to think about Leira right now.
If she started thinking about Leira she'd never get anywhere and she
knew it.
"Da...I think he grew up on a farm - he knew lots about sheep -
but we didn't live on one. Ma was a weaver and I think she was pretty
good at it." Her mouth twisted into a grimace as she continued.
"I think she wanted my sister and I to follow in her footsteps.
I didn't want to."
Leo almost smiled as she finished the sentence, the faint sense of victory
lingering pleasantly with the firm conviction that she certainly wasn't
a weaver now. Then, she remembered that Leira, who hadn't been adverse
to the idea of being a weaver, wasn't one either.
"Leira - my sister - didn't mind the idea but she was always the
good one. She did no wrong until she got sick - until she just gave
up. Not like me. The guitar was hers - sort of - but I fixed it in the
first place. She played better than me."
Leo's eyes weren't exactly looking at the Accepted at this point but
rather they were looking through her, remembering the day that
she had finished fixing the guitar and was just trying out a few clumsy
swipes of her fingers across the strings.
Leira walked out the backdoor of their house, following the disjointed
sounds of music and soft mutterings of frustration. She had found Leo,
cradling the guitar in her hands; trying to play.
"Can I have a go?"
Leo had let her, doubting that Leira could do any better than she had
but Leira had no sooner grasped the guitar and settled it on her lap
then she had tentatively begun to pluck the strings, softly managing
to coax a bit of a harmony out of it and disguising her mistakes - of
which there were quite a lot - with her clear singing.
Leo & Lei's mother had come out at this point and begun fussing
over Leira. Nobody understood why Leona had stood up and walked inside,
letting the door slam behind her. Nor did they understand why it took
Leira's death, two years later, for her to touch the guitar again.
"But she died. I tried to play it and sometimes it kind of sounded
okay. Sometimes it sounded really loud and more than okay - like Leira
was playing with me. An Aes Sedai found me one of those times - Jasmina
Talvedor, I think her name was. She told me to go to the Tower and I
did. It's kind of better here than it was there. I don't think they
miss me."
Accepted
Aiyaela
A
small smile appeared on Aiyaela’s lips as she listened to the Novice
sitting in front of her. The pieces were beginning to come together
as the girl spun her tale. There was a lot Leona wasn’t telling her,
but Aiyaela could venture a guess. Leira, she must have been the
good one, the favourite. Aiyaela’s older sister was like that. All
Charlyn wanted was to marry, have children, and run her own inn. All
Aiyaela ever wanted was to see the world. She never wanted kids,
or to be saddled with some man her entire life, unable to manage if
he passed away. Aiyaela had always been a wanderer, a wild-child with
the Saldaean spirit of a wild horse. Charlyn was perfect. Aiyaela was
a good girl too, but paled in comparison to her older sibling.
Aiyaela was willing to bet that the situation with Leona and Leira was
similar, but even worse because they were twins, not just sisters. Leira
probably wasn’t aware of it. Charlyn never was. Or else Leira took it
for granted. Aiyaela felt an irrational surge of anger toward the
deceased girl on Leona’s behalf which immediately faded in the stab
of guilt that followed. She couldn’t help it. It’s hard being the
perceived favourite, because you always have such high standards to
live up to. That’s what Charlyn had told her, when Aiyaela finally
approached the older woman, then night before Aiyaela left Tanchico
for her first trip with their father’s merchant caravan. It still
isn’t’ fair to Leona. Aiyaela muttered stubbornly.
“Leona, I am so sorry to hear about your sister. I know you must hear
this all the time, but it must be hard losing someone so close to you,
especially your twin sister.” Aiyaela trailed off, unsure of what to
say next. Leona sat silently in front of her, staring off into space.
Aiyaela sat silently too, chewing over the problem of Leona’s block,
and getting the girl to trust her enough to let her try different things.
So far she had nothing to really start with.
But this talk of the guitar sounding different intrigued Aiyaela, especially
because an Aes Sedai had found Leona, telling her she could channel
after one of these episodes. It was a long shot, but there was the possibility,
made greater by Leona’s story. And Leona had been humming in the embracing
class right before she embraced. She might have been grasping at straws,
but when it came to identifying blocks and breaking them, all you had
were straws.
Judging from Leona’s past reactions to being told she could channel,
Aiyaela decided not to tell her that she had discovered her block. That
would just put the girl’s guard up and make it almost impossible for
her to relax enough to play and possibly embrace. There wasn’t even
much time left before Aiyaela and Leona had to go back inside for lunch
and then afternoon classes. Aiyaela had only the morning off, and she
didn’t know Leona’s schedule, only that she had no channeling lessons
because she couldn’t consciously channel. There were still the academic
courses, like history, math, and politics. Now that she was Accepted
Aiyaela could choose what classes she took, and she willing dropped
math from her curriculum. Only future Whites and some Browns really
needed it. Aiyaela had no use for it now, if she was going to study
ter’angreal.
Gingerly picking up the guitar in both hands, Aiyaela held it out to
Leona. “Leona, will you play for me? Please? It doesn’t matter what
you play, you can play anything you wish, but after hearing your story,
I would really like to hear you play. Once you’re finished we can call
it quits for today, alright?” Aiyaela held her breath for what seemed
like ages until Leona finally reached out and took the guitar from her.
“Leona,
I am so sorry to hear about your sister. I know you must hear this all
the time, but it must be hard losing someone so close to you, especially
your twin sister.”
Leo stared at her hands, looking carefully for the small callouses that
marked the ends of her left fingers. Doing so hid her face from the
Accepted, preventing the Accepted from seeing the look on her face.
Had someone told Aiyaela Leira was her twin? Leona didn't recall mentioning
that fact to anyone, though maybe the Tower had it on the records. After
all, it did have a reputation for knowing everything. Lost in
these wonderings, Aiyaela's next question hit her between the eyes.
“Leona, will you play for me? Please? It doesn’t matter what you play,
you can play anything you wish, but after hearing your story, I would
really like to hear you play. Once you’re finished we can call it quits
for today, alright?”
Aiyaela held out her guitar and Leona hesitated before taking it. What
harm could playing do? Then, she took it and settled it on her lap.
Leo hesitated again, unsure of what to play before a sense of recklessness
set in. What does it matter what Aiyaela thinks anyway?!
The tune was quite an old one - or so the gleeman who had first played
it in that inn in Whitebridge told her - and the fingering was deceptively
easy at the beginning of the song. And as she played Leona wondered
if Leira would join her this time.
my old friend
I've come to talk with you again.
Because a vision softly creeping
Left its seeds while I was sleeping,
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains within the sound of silence.
The tune grew more complicated and Leo started to sing along, her soft
voice contrasting nicely with the rippling chords on her guitar. Her
face maintained its look of fierce concentration - Leo refused to make
any mistakes in front of the Accepted! - but a smile was lurking throughout
her facial expression. Leo relaxed slightly at this point, enjoying
the way her fingers moved across the strings clearly and precisely.
Leira hadn't come yet but it didn't matter. There was music.
The song finished and, with the smile more prominent on her features,
Leo decided to play one more. This time, though she wasn't going to
tell the woman in front of her, it would be one of her own making. Leo
refused to be one of those:
People talking without speaking,
People hearing without listening,
People writing songs that voices never share.
And no one dared
Disturb the sound of silence.
This song was about the small town where she grew up, introducing various
people within the town. It had a very mischievous tone and Leona knew
she would never have dared to play it at home. Various people would
have found themselves offended by the way that "al'Medina chit
- you know, the noisy one" saw them. Not that she mentioned names.
Now, that wouldn't be fair. Her eyes sparkled with supressed
mischief though and she relaxed a lot more singing this one, while the
guitar seemed to laugh along with her. It was such a warm feeling...Leo
kept singing clearly and she noticed that the volume of her song was
increasing, then her ears detected a harmony contrasting with her own
tones...
Song Credits: Simon and Garfunkel - "Sounds of Silence"
Accepted Aiyaela
Aiyaela
smiled in relief when Leona took the guitar from her hands and began
to play. She half expected the girl to take the guitar and try to run,
but Aiyaela guessed that showing the girl some trust was better than
keeping her on apron strings. Aiyaela would have thought more about
it, but became caught up in Leona’s playing, all thoughts flying from
her mind at the first bars of the song. She was very good, even though
she looked like a deer about to bolt during the first half of the song.
But she visibly relaxed as the time progressed. Aiyaela couldn’t remember
if Leona had said that she had taken lessons or not, but she had given
Aiyaela the impression that she hadn’t. Whether or not she had taken
them, though, was a moot point. The girl was good.
She finished one song and slipped into another. The Novice was smiling
openly, looking so relaxed and happy that Aiyaela was glad. Even if
she couldn’t prove to Leona that she could channel, at least she made
the morning a little more pleasant by allowing her to play and offering
her an attentive audience. But hopefully she could prove to Leona that
she could channel, and then the morning wasn’t wasted. Well, not necessarily
wasted, because she had learned a lot about Leona, but useful in that
she had achieved her goal.
A warm glow shimmered into view around Leona, whose voice had grown
louder and surer, her playing richer and more intense. Aiyaela smiled
in smug satisfaction. Now that was channeling. She even recognized
the weaves the girl was unconsciously forming; an amplification weave,
they were used to make oneself heard over a crowd. The Amyrlin Seat
used the same one each time she opened a festival or other celebration
with her usual speech.
She didn’t interrupt Leona, letting the girl sink further into her trance.
She was positive that the girl could channel; she had her doubts this
morning about it, seeing how the girl was so sure she couldn’t, but
here was proof like she had only seen at the embracing lesson, which
she could have written off as how the sun was shining or something.
Now she was sure. She was also positive that Leona’s block was tied
to music somehow, and, putting two and two together and throwing in
some intuition, felt that the Novice had to be playing music to sense
the source, even if she didn’t know what it felt like. An unusual block,
the fact that she wove unconsciously was even more unusual. Aiyaela
only knew one other person who did that, though there must be more than
just those two. An interesting thing to look into, unconscious weaving
tied to blocks. Daia could do it, and had to if she wanted to sense
the source. No matter how many people worked with her on it, her block
would not be broken, and she was doomed to be invisible while channeling
until she found the key herself.
Before Aiyaela could do anything else, Leona’s song wound to a close.
The Novice blinked, coming out of her trance, and gazed at Aiyaela.
Aiyaela immediately started clapping. “That was amazing! Have you had
any lessons at all?” Smiling encouragingly, Aiyaela didn’t wait for
Leona to answer her. “Will you play one more song? Please? You are such
a pleasure to listen to. Not like some of the gleemen or Bards the Amyrlin
hires for the festival. Please?”
Leona al'Medina
“That
was amazing! Have you had any lessons at all?" Leo stared in amazement
at the Accepted before her. "Will you play one more song? Please?
You are such a pleasure to listen to. Not like some of the gleemen or
Bards the Amyrlin hires for the festival. Please?”
Leo's cheeks flushed at the unaccustomed praise. She liked it?
There was no mention, either, of Aiyaela's earlier commments - months
previously - about channeling when playing music either. For the first
time, Leo warmed slightly to the woman in front of her and decided that
maybe she wasn't quite as bad as she had previously thought.
"Mostly I taught myself," Leo replied. "Sometimes, though,
people showed me bits and pieces...and you can learn lots by watching."
Aiyaela seemed to almost nod in reply to the last remark. Leo wondered
what was making her so agreeable - she didn't think she played that
well! - but it was nice to be around someone who appreciated the music
she played.
"I don't think I play better'n a gleeman, though."
Leo fidgeted a bit. She really didn't know what she should play and
she was still finding the situation a little strange. Wasn't she meant
to be learning how to channel? How did playing music help her to do
that? She looked up at Aiyaela.
"What do you want me to play?"
The song Aiyaela named was one that Leona knew quite well and she was
more than willing to play. It was another one of those fun songs that
someone had made up to poke fun at a long ago event and it had a pretty
rhythm that got the foot tappping. Leo tapped out the count for the
piece with her foot once and began to play. She never noticed that even
once she began to play, her foot continued tapping out the beat.
Like the previous time, Leo was quite relaxed and readily embraced the
music, every part of her seeming part of the motion of the music that
her fingers and voice were producing. It thrummed through her deliciously.
And soon, the 'other' effect of playing came into being - though Leona
knew it not. She was only aware of feeling - yet gain - as though she
were bathed in sunshine and closed her eyes to savour the happy feeling,
just for a second. The song grew louder but something else happened
too. Something that only a channeler could possibly see and understand.
When Leo wove her amplification weave, she would unconsciously "touch"
the weave and that touch would change the weave, subtly but enough that
an experienced channeler would notice. It changed the way the sound
carried, creating a single, soft echo...
Accepted
Aiyaela
Aiyaela
itched for a piece of paper and pen, to write down her observations
and methods for discovering Leona’s block. That would have to wait until
later, though, because Leona started to play the next song, and the
glow of saidar that had faded when she finished her other song
reappeared, brighter than ever. Aiyaela could see the weaves, and, though
she understood why Leona couldn’t see them, was still surprised that
she couldn’t, they were so bright and in her face. Daia couldn’t see
what she was weaving when she wrapped herself in Concealment and Illusion,
so why would Leona see the amplification weaves surrounding her guitar?
Though she didn’t like manipulating Leona, Aiyaela was enjoying herself
more than she thought she would. She had researched blocks and was trying
to apply the knowledge, but because each one was individual, what she
had learned was only a sketchy frame of what she should be doing. It
was dependent on each individual person how to be handled, and each
block was so different, in most cases, that you could only work with
your instincts. Now that Aiyaela had identified Leona’s block she had
to devise a way to break it, but in a way that Leona wouldn’t expect,
seeing how she still believed she couldn’t channel. That was most of
the block right there, but all anyone had tried for convincing her had
done nothing. Even when she had embraced, somewhat, in the embracing
class so long ago, she wasn’t aware of it, so still didn’t believe it.
Leona was a fascinating study, Aiyaela decided. Working with her took
more skill and cunning that Aiyaela thought she was capable of. But
she had done it, and had gotten the Novice to embrace, though Leona
was still unaware of the fact. Aiyaela had to make her see that she
was holding the source when playing her music, with nothing to mask
the unmistakable feeling of the Power rushing through oneself.
It was a long shot, but Aiyaela thought that she had one way that could
work. Leona’s block was playing music, so the Accepted had a weave in
mind that could hopefully work. She had one chance, and if she blew
it, then this session would be over and she would have to report her
failure to Madeline Sedai, a task she wanted to avoid if at all possible.
Leona’s block was determination that she couldn’t channel, but Aiyaela
was determined to show her that she could, so now it was just to decide
who was stronger.
Lost in Leona’s music, Aiyaela almost forgot what she was supposed to
do. She had to catch the girl before she finished the song, but to prepare
this weave without her detecting anything Aiyaela could only embrace
a rivulet of saidar and create the normally simple weave one
strand at a time. Saidar trickled into her, Leona remaining oblivious.
Her eyes were closed now, as she picked out the melody on the guitar,
her clear voice harmonizing beautifully. She had a talent with that,
her explanation making it all that much clearer. Not many people were
able to teach themselves to play the guitar the way Leona did, even
if she had help, as she told Aiyaela. If she had never shown a talent
for channeling, she would probably have made a fantastic gleewoman or
even a court bard. But the Wheel weaves as it wills, and it willed for
Leona to be in the Tower, or else she wouldn’t be here.
Aiyaela readied the weave. She had requested this particular song because
it was long, and difficult enough that all of Leona’s attention would
be on the song. Aiyaela regretted having to trick the Novice like this,
because she thought she might be earning the girl’s trust, but this
was a job. She wasn’t here to play nice-nice to Leona, she was here
to break her block. But she couldn’t help feel the guilt that she was
tricking Leona, possibly ruining her trust in all Aes Sedai, if she
had any to begin with.
The Accepted waited patiently until it the timing was right, then flipped
the weave over Leona. It had the exact effect she was looking for. All
sound from Leona and the guitar were silenced, though the Novice continued
to play for a few seconds, unaware, in her trance, of the complete silence
that had descended over the gardens. Most importantly, though, was the
glow that still lit Leona, betraying her ability to channel to Aiyaela.
Leona al'Medina
Leo
played, a vague awareness in her mind telling her that something important
was happening nearby. Since she didn't believe that voice, she ignored
it and kept playing. The feeling didn't go away though.
Then, silence fell. It was so sudden and Leona couldn't quite work out
where it had come from. It was as if something had suddenly sucked away
all the noise present in the room - Leona couldn't even hear the noises
of the nearby fountain, something she'd taken for granted even as she
played. It didn't seem right and Leo found herself looking around the
room, her fingers paused over the guitar strings that she itched to
twang - just to hear some sound in the deafening silence.
She tried to speak. Again, nothing came out. No audible sound at all
and what was even more confusing was her awareness of a feeling of sunlight
- such a delightful sensation! - while the sun was so obviously behind
a cloud. What's happening? Leo wondered, noticing a look of fierce
concentration on Aiyaela's face which eased as suddenly the silence
dropped away. There was something else about the Accepted, Leo noticed.
She squinted, trying to get things properly into focus. For some reason,
she could see some faint gold glistening about the woman. Leo shook
her head and the image vanished, leaving her feeling empty.
"What's going on?" Leo asked suspiciously
"What did you see, just now?"
The Accepted seemed to ignore her question, interrupting her with a
question that was of dubious relevance to Leona. Why was what she
saw important? Leo hesitated, trying to put her words in order so
that she didn't sound quite as insane as she thought.
"You had faint gold glitter about you."
The response seemed to please the Accepted. Leo couldn't understand
why. Seeing delusions did not seem quite the done thing. Her family
would have scorned her for it.
"And how did you feel, when you saw this glitter?"
Another strange question. Again, Leona couldn't understand the relevance
of it but again she answered.
"Warm, like the sun was shining on me only the sun wasn't."
She looked confusedly at Aiyaela. "Now, can you tell me what's
going on?"
Accepted
Aiyaela
It
was a struggle, but Aiyaela managed to keep her face smooth as Leona
realized what had happened. The Novice was staring at Aiyaela, squinting
as if to bring something she was seeing into focus. She was either seeing
the weaves or the glow of saidar Aiyaela decided. Whichever it
was, it was just more proof that Leona was a channeler. But that was
proof in only Aiyaela’s eyes. She didn’t think Leona would believe her,
though since it was her job, she had to try to convince her. Maybe the
Novice would surprise her; she had a few times in this lesson already.
“What did you see just now?” Aiyaela asked Leona, her voice betraying
none of her excitement. She was so close now. If she could just make
Leona see.
“You had a faint gold glitter around you.” Leona said grudgingly. She
probably didn’t want to admit it, if she remembered anything from the
embracing lesson Aiyaela had taught. She had told the class that after
time and exposure to saidar they would start to see this glow,
and now Leona had seen it. Surely she must believe that she can channel,
unless she had forgotten that part of the lesson? Since she had barely
paid attention, it was possible she didn’t remember it, and thought
it was a trick of the light, or one of Aiyaela’s tricks.
“And how did you feel, when you saw that glitter?” Aiyaela meant it
Leona’s emotional reaction, processing the information that indicated
she could channel, but the Novice misinterpreted the question.
"Warm, like the sun was shining on me only the sun wasn't.” Aiyaela
automatically looked up at the sky. Fluffy white clouds had drifted
in front of the sun, blocking its warm rays from caressing Leona’s white
clad shoulders. The only sunshine she could have possibly felt was the
inner warmth of saidar making its presence known. The Novice
knew something was going on, but if she was to be believed, didn’t know
what it was. Either than or she was playing dumb, something Aiyaela
wouldn’t put past her. The Accepted wouldn’t underestimate Leona again.
“Now can you tell me what’s going on?” Leona demanded. Aiyaela suppressed
the urge to reprimand the girl for how she was addressing an Accepted,
but she had let it slide all morning, so why start now? That would just
put Leona’s back up and make what Aiyaela was so close to showing her
useless, because she wouldn’t listen to Aiyaela.
Nervously, Aiyaela licked her lips. Would this work? “That glitter you
saw and the warm sunshine you felt are both typical descriptions of
what a woman sees and feels when she embraces saidar.” She said
carefully. “The glow is seen when a woman who can channel sees another
woman holding the source. The sunshine feel is the awareness of saidar
in a channeler. With practice a woman will always be able to feel it,
like a light shining just behind her, always out of sight, but sensed.”
Aiyaela watched Leona warily. She was smart, so Aiyaela knew she would
clue in, but what would she do when she figured it out? Aiyaela embraced
again, ready to throw bonds of Air around her if she tried. When she
left it would be on Aiyaela’s terms, not hers.
The Novice opened her mouth to say something but Aiyaela interrupted
her. “Leona, why don’t you play again, and see if you can sense that
sunshine feeling again? When you do, concentrate on that feeling so
that you get used to it and then stop playing, while concentrating on
the sunshine.”
Leona al'Medina
“That
glitter you saw and the warm sunshine you felt are both typical descriptions
of what a woman sees and feels when she embraces saidar.” Aiyaela said
carefully. “The glow is seen when a woman who can channel sees another
woman holding the source. The sunshine feel is the awareness of saidar
in a channeler. With practice a woman will always be able to feel it,
like a light shining just behind her, always out of sight, but sensed.”
Leona hesitated, understanding of what the Accepted said just out of
her reach. If she wanted, she could reach out with her mind and accept
it. She could just reach out right now and take that knowledge into
herself but the idea of doing that was terrifying. After all, if she
accepted it, it was a step towards accepting that she was here in the
Tower and she could learn to channel. If she accepted that fully, who
knew what might happen. Leo al'Medina, tomboy and climber of trees,
might become Aes Sedai. It was scary.
Yet, it was also thrilling. Leo twitched slightly, unsure of whether
to stay or flee.
She stayed.
She opened her mouth, wanting to ask Aiyaela what she saw when another
channelled. Did she see glitter or did the glitter change into something
else with experience? The accepted forestalled her:
“Leona, why don’t you play again, and see if you can sense that sunshine
feeling again? When you do, concentrate on that feeling so that you
get used to it and then stop playing, while concentrating on the sunshine.”
Leo closed her mouth and contemplated what the accepted was saying.
That nice sunshiny feeling I loved so much was a by-product of being
able to channel? She sighed. Somehow it was much nicer when there
wasn't a logical explantion for it. Then, she looked down at the guitar
and decided to test the accepted's theory. If nothing else, it gave
her a real chance to create a new future away from the Black Hills.
She shifted the guitar's position a little, fitting it's body more comfortably
against her and flexed her fingers. Then she began to play.
She felt quite nervous - not something Leo expected - knowing that she
was going to try and channel. It was kind of scary, knowing that this
was the moment when, if things worked out, she'd have to stop fighting
the Aes Sedai and their minions with regards to their opinion that she
could channel. She kept playing, stubbornly, half hoping she'd succeed;
half hoping she'd fail. Very strange feeling.
It didn't work. Aiyaela could have told Leo why she failed. Embracing
the source required a sense of inner peace and Leo certainly lacked
that at that particular moment. All her soul was aware that right now
she had a chance to change her life and that awareness made her quivver
inside. Not really conducive to channeling. Leo let out a vexed noise.
Why didn't it work? Leo wondered. Aiyaela had said she'd done
it earlier...moments ago in fact and Leo was pretty sure that the Accepted
was right. So, what was different this time? Leo turned it this
way and that in her mind...finally she realised that she had something
that might be the key. She wasn't calm enough.
Leo closed her eyes for a moment, much like she always did when something
annoyed her greatly and she didn't want to lose her temper. She took
a few deep breaths and then she opened them again. She stubbornly decided
to try again and took up her guitar. Leona began playing, this time
stubbornly determined to focus on her playing and nothing else. Slowly,
the music relaxed her. Slowly, she relaxed into the grasp of the music
that thrilled her soul. The music that she'd come to love more than
any person in her life...well, excepting Leira but she was dead.
The memory of Leira flashed across Leo's mind for an instant and the
music changed. It had been a determinedly cheerful strumming of chords
but it wasn't now, now it had the sound of a dirge...it was the sad
song that Leira had started to write just before the end. Before she
put the guitar aside and never touched it again. Leo had never played
the tune before - refused to consider the idea even though the tune
flickered into her mind at times - but now she found herself playing
it. When she got to the part where Leira had given up on it, unfinished,
she kept playing. Something in her told her the tune.
A tear trickled down her cheek while she played. Her mind was focused
on the tune not really on Leira but the sadness in it certainly was
real. It came from Leo's memories of those days, the days she would
never forget as long as she lived. Glancing up for a second, she saw
an answering look of sadness of Aiyaela's face, then she looked down
again and focused all her attention back on the tune.
The tune changed again. It was more peaceful now; the sounds of letting
go, of acceptace somehow woven into the tune. Leo smiled as she played,
her eyes unconsciously closing as her mind continued to weave out the
tune. In her mind she could see Leira - her face lit up with the gentle,
beautiful smile that Leona remembered so well. And Leira was hugging
her...Tears were pouring down Leo's face again as the image faded but
she felt completely calm. The gentle, peaceful quality of the music
enveloped her and she stopped thinking about anything but how beautiful
the music was. It felt so nice and she let the tune sooth her, let it
warm her inside.
It was that feeling of warmth that brought Leo to her senses. She had
embraced the source again, she realised and she opened her eyes. Aiyaela
was smiling at her. That was what awoke Leona to the fact that she really,
truly was channeling. She strummed the last few chords, finishing the
song and looked at the accepted.
"I did it." She said
Accepted Aiyaela
Aiyaela
felt like jumping up and down with joy when comprehension spread across
Leona’s face. Finally the girl knew what Aiyaela was talking
about, and knew what it was like to channel. She looked ready to bolt
at any time, but the important thing was that she knew she could channel.
That was most of the battle there, and that was where Aiyaela had succeeded
where nobody else had. She had convince Leona that the Novice could
channel. Now the Novice had to decide if she would channel.
Her fingers moved across the guitar as she played again, eyes squeezed
tightly shut in concentration. Aiyaela watched her, waiting to see if
she would embrace the source, and was disappointed when she failed,
though not as disappointed as Leo appeared to be. Aiyaela was hard pressed
to hide her triumphant smile. Now Leona knew what she was missing, and
now Leona would be more willing to channel. She would make a fine Aes
Sedai one day, if she would unbend enough to do the lessons.
Leona started to play again, and Aiyaela could hear the difference the
moment she started. She was more relaxed now, and that translated directly
to her playing, which was softer and mellower. The song brought tears
to Aiyaela’s eyes, it had such sad overtones to it, and she became so
lost in it she forgot what she was supposed to do.
Luckily Leona didn’t need Aiyaela’s help this time. The glow sprang
up around her and she smiled in recognition as she continued to play.
Aiyaela listened, mesmerized by the intricacies of Leona’s playing.
Without saidar she was good, but with saidar she could
give a court bard a run for his money.
The song ended much too quickly, and Aiyaela realized, with some embarrassment,
that she forgot to put a silencing weave on Leona. That didn’t seem
to matter, though, because Leona ended the song, still glowing with
saidar. “I did it.” The Novice said smugly, though there was
a touch of wonder in her voice.
Aiyaela grinned at Leona. “Leona, I’m very proud of you. You worked
hard today to overcome many obstacles, most importantly to understand
that you can channel. Now it will be much easier for you, and the more
you practice the easier it will get. I did not lie when I said that
the sooner you channel and obtain the ring and shawl then the sooner
you will be able to leave the Tower, if you still wanted to.” She let
Leona digest that information. She had a sneaking suspicion the girl
wasn’t listening to her before when she offered that bait, and so it
dangled tantalizingly again in front of the girl. You will leave
the Tower sooner or later. It’s up to you how long.
“Now, such hard work deserves a reward, so if you will just practice
embracing a few more times you will be free to go, and I will cancel
the rest of your classes and chores for today. You’ve worked hard enough
for one day.”
Leona nodded and closed her eyes, focusing on what Aiyaela hoped was
the sunshine feeling of saidar. Several minutes passed, though,
and no results. Leona looked at Aiyaela and opened her mouth, but Aiyaela,
surprisingly quick thinking, suggested to the Novice, “Seeing how music
was your block, how about, instead of picturing a flower for your focus,
you use music? Imagine a song in your head, any song, and see if that
helps.”
Leona blinked, surprised, then slowly nodded. Her eyes closed again
and Aiyaela watched her head begin to bob slightly and a glow shimmer
into being around her. Her eyes sprung open and she looked at Aiyaela.
Neither woman had to say anything, both knew the truth of it. Leona
could channel, and now she could channel when she wanted, not when she
held a guitar in her hands.
“Good.” Aiyaela said. “Now release it and try again.” Aiyaela had Leona
do this several times, until the girl could grasp saidar almost
every time she tried. “Now, do you remember your embracing class?” Leona
nodded. “Remember what I said about Elements? Embrace again and this
time pull out and identify each element. Then you’ll be finished for
today.”
Leona embraced one more time, and proceeded to isolate and identify
each Element. Though Aiyaela wanted to keep her longer, she knew that
Leona wanted to go, and she had promised to let the girl go once she
had finished those simple tasks. The Novice was getting antsy, and most
likely tired, and Aiyaela didn’t want to push this newfound trust with
the girl. Better to go slow and easy, taking her time.
Both women stood, Leona standing back while Aiyaela used a few flows
of Air to fold up the blanket she laid out and gather the food back
into the picnic basket. Leona squinted as Aiyaela did this, blinking
and staring at the flows. By now she should be able to see them, though
she wouldn’t be able to duplicate them for a long time. She didn’t ask
anything, and Aiyaela didn’t offer any information. The girl knew what
she was seeing, and with time they would become clearer and clearer
until she was at the point Aiyaela had reached, where the Accepted had
to concentrate to not see weaves. Everywhere she turned she would
see a network of something. It hurt her eyes, sometimes, straining them
with what she was not used to seeing.
Patting Leona’s shoulder she said, “You did well, today. Keep it up
and you will be out of the Tower before you know it.” She took a few
steps towards the Tower but stopped, turning back. The Novice hadn’t
moved; she was standing rooted in place, staring after Aiyaela. “Leona,
you are good at what you do, and you will make a very powerful Aes Sedai
if you put your mind to it. I have faith in you. If you ever need anything,
please, come and find me. I’ll always be available for you.” She looked
searchingly at Leona. “Thank you.” Aiyaela said, then turned and carried
the blanket and basket back into the Tower on gentle flows of Air.
Dear Madeline Sedai,
I have done as you requested. Leona al’Medina’s block has been broken
and she is now able to channel freely, and is willing. Most of her difficulties
were in that she didn’t think she could channel and didn’t want to believe
that. Once she understood that she could channel, everything fell into
place. I hope she will be better behaved in her classes now, she seems
a little more subdued.
Thank you for having the faith in me to take such a sensitive case and
work through it. I hope I have done you proud.
Accepted Aiyaela
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